So this morning my lazy one didn't get out of bed. I have found the most effective method of rousing her is sprinkling her with water. I asked my youngest if her sister was awake? Yes, well tell her to get up, and when she didn't little sister flicked water on her face. UH OH... Fast forward 10 minutes.
Now little sister is hopping outside the bathroom door begging to use the bathroom cause she has to go and since Her and I are still suffering from the effects of food poisoning she is not faking it. Why is big sister taking so long in the bathroom? Well I need to change my clothing. (no rather I need to hide my pull up in the garbage, because I'm suppose to take them outside right away, but I'd rather stink up the bathroom. Because that gets mom mad, And hogging the bathroom that will get my sister back for sprinkling 6 drops of water on me.) Like I need this at 7:30AM.
Really darling daughter you need to Change IN the bathroom? DD1: I don't want anyone looking at me, *foot is wiggling but actually doesn't stomp* Mom is thinking "Good thing we adopted you then, cause in the orphanage they have general wards, you'd be sharing with 15 other girls" Of course I'm not buying what she is selling because her sister was no longer in the bed room by the time she bothered to get up. Dd's whole body from the hips downward is wiggling. Her facial features are screaming outrage and her legs are doing the I want to have a temper tantrum dance. Who knew she is 12. Ya 12 can you believe it. I know she looks 5 her inner child is trying desperately to get out.
She then says something along the line of: well it's her fault I'm mad she was bossy and told me to get up. (The fact that I had asked her to get up before some how doesn't come into the picture). SERIOUSLY?? Ya right. I just have a feeling she woke up and decided it was a good day to die and I'm gonna take my whole family with me. This is something a my good friend Mindy use to say. It's worse than getting up on the wrong side of bed. if I were to make an analogy, getting up on the wrong side of bed is like a bucket of cold water , and thinking "it's a good day to die" is like napalm. I better throw cold water on her before this gets out of hand.
So to work it out I told her sister, to not throw 6 water droplets on her if she's not getting up. That is my prerogative. And She agreed to Not "watch" her sister getting dressed and would leave if her sister expressed a desire for privacy. And if I ask her to tell her sister to do something she will use the words "Mom says." To avoid the shrapnel of the war her sister has declared on Motherhood. Of course DD1 may still choose to shoot the messenger but we will cross that bridge it it come to that.
Oddly enough we got NO concessions or compromises or promises out of the walking wounded DD1, she just has to find the word Misunderstanding in the dictionary and write it out a few times. I didn't ask for any because I think she would just break those promises. Follow through is not her forte. I can't help but point out to DD1 that this war she is waging has only one casualty, and its not me or her sister or her father. Talk about self inflicted wounds.
Essentially DD1 wanted to get Mom all fired up so she could feel sorry for herself and then say "See no one loves me I'm not really wanted in this family see! see! I was right! My life with my first family would be so much better." The problem is Mom doesn't get fired up anymore (I think I'm just so tired of it all). In fact I haven't in a very very long time. (Now that I said that I probably will next week *sigh*). I so let go of my hopes (or should I say fantasy) of what adoption is. At this point if she will just give herself permission to be happy I'd be happy. If she would just feel safe with us so she don't feel like she has to manipulate her world. It would be so much better for her. If she had just communicated to me "Mom I feel my sister is being bossy." would have put paid to the whole situation. Alas having an expectation of that seems to me to be setting the bar to high.