Wednesday, April 29, 2015

The Not Really a Vacation; Vacation

I love to say to my kids "When we are on a family vacation, Mom and Dad don't stop being Mom, or Dad."  Were still doing our jobs, not to mention that anytime we go on vacation, disaster strikes somewhere in the world and My Knight in Shining Armor's phone is glued to his hand the entire time.  I never sleep well, and I sleep less well on vacation... unless I have my own room and can't hear my daughter, creating huge long term dental bills er um I mean grinding her teeth all night. I wonder how does her sister sleep with that?  It must be the reason when she is asleep, it's like trying to wake the dead.  

I'm so grateful for family and church family that houses us when we are out and about, but really nothing beats a hotel room alone... with the kids parked at Grandmas' (thanks Grandma!) for pure blissful sleep.  I wonder why? Is it just the lack of children needing me every moment, or rather every moment I want to spend privately?  Funny how that works isn't it. I'll be puttering in the kitchen for an hour and decide the houses quiet, I'll go hide in my room to rest.  Not five minutes later one child is knocking on the door "Mom can I?" and 3 minutes later  the other child is asking "Mom are you in there I need X Y and Z."

I know this is only a season in our lives. Some day soon I will not be dragging 2 kids though airports keeping track of iPods and luggage with one eye while seeking a bathroom with the other.  I love being able to free my spouse from the job of parenting while he finds a plug that works, and spends the 40 minutes before boarding running his department from afar.

And altho we took vacation days for this trip it is as much work as it is fun. I loved going to our sending church on Sunday but I also found as much heart ache as I did pleasure. I think that is one reason we have always loved it there so much, the people are so real.

No matter where we go or what we do people are people. As I was looking down over this great land of USA from my porthole in the sky. I kept thinking how much everything is really the same; farm lands, small towns, cities, rivers, plaines, mountains, great lakes, small lakes, tiny tanks to water cattle. If you cut us we all bleed red. We all have hurts, sorrows, joys, happiness, secret idols, secret sins, people we are honest with, people we hide from, people we love so deeply their loss makes us cry. We are humanity and God sees it all. He rejoices over our love, he shares in our suffering, he knows us better than we know ourselves.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Idols in our life

My pastor... well our sending pastor not our current pastor... spoke Sunday about idols in our life. How sometimes protestants condemn other religions for bowing down to idols. He was speaking on 1 Corinthians 1: 1-17 he focused on the part where Paul is begging for those in division to be in unity.  They were all broken into factions by who had baptized them. Isn't this typical of humanity, we boast of our accomplishments, name drop, and try to lift ourselves above others. We all do it to some degree, we have that desire to lift ourselves up and be just a wee bit better than the other guy.

Then it hit me I totally qualified as the person he was talking about. I sat there stunned, as the Lord convicted me. Being at GFA where we are encouraged to think of ourselves as one in a million, special, called by God, this mantra of words keeps telling me I was "SOMEBODY". When had this crept into my heart? I sat there repenting.  Images of K.P. telling us we were special, to be in America but be better than those poor weak minded christians in American churches.  For years I had held myself a wee bit higher than those that "just go to church." GFA never seemed to work with any other organization, I always assumed it was because we give "100% to the field." This mentality of "we are better than them" was there rooted in my heart... when had that happened? Oh my!

Hurtful comments from last summer came flooding into my mind. I realized I had been so stressed over that time.  I was allowing a man to hold Gods' place on Gods' throne. God gave me an image of a small man holding a scepter with his arms crossed, frowning, sitting on Gods Holy Throne... he was tiny, it was as if someone put an action figure on a really large chair.  I felt so sad.

Afterwards I processed this in a journal because I wasn't home or connected to the internet.
I wrote down that:
I had sought to please man over God.
I feared man over God.
I cared more for safety and security than God.
I had in-fact become complacent.

God was asking me again will you follow me and only me? My answer is Yes! I put my future in his hands once more. He is my sole guide.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Trust but Verifiy

I was looking back at some old posts seems people read my blog even from years ago... I was being bad and looking at my stats. A old post was suddenly very popular, which got me reading my blog. Ha ha ha this really is my online journal you're just reading my musings. 

I was looking at a post from 2 years ago where I was starting the process of Sweet Potato's medications becoming her responsibility.  I made a side note that it would probably take 3-4 years to get her to a place of being responsible. The process hasn't stopped I'm still working on this area in her life. She takes quiet bit of medication, and much of it makes her feel uncomfortable.  The salt water she breaths in really helps her cough deeply.. but who wants to cough deeply for 20 mins a day, twice a day?  Ow!

I'm seeing that I really did set a reasonable expectation in my blog post and it was a good reminder to read it today.  My expectation was 3-4 years before I would be able to be at the "trust but verify" stage of watching over her medications. We still have months where I go to switch out her inhaler and its got a few to many doses left. (Yes bad mommie! no doughnut for me!)  But 2 years into it I am seeing her ask for her medication, going and getting it out of the closet where it is kept on her own. I'm even finding her cleaning up all the plastic vials every once in a while. Tidying her area without being asked. All good things.

In fact at this time there is no "FIX" for her disease. Only lots of hard work, being uncomfortable, taking medications, eating right, exercising and sadly not being able to do all the things you want to do.

Sometimes our children just take longer to process things, we as parents want to Fix it right now, make it better right away... kiss the boo boo and all is well... but our children have deep hurts, a kiss sure helps but it won't fix it.

Friday, April 10, 2015

TP for the Win

Today in the bathroom I got thinking about how wonderful my Knight In Shining Armor is.  He's a really good guy, but don't think I'm looking though my rose colored glasses. I got thinking along these lines because of toilet paper.   Yes I did just write that... toilet paper.  The right kind was on the roll how awesome is that... this is totally a 1st world problem but hey...  Growing up in the 70's has left certain commercials stuck in my brain. Specifically:  DON'T squeeze the Charmin!  and the Pharmacist crying over his; oh wait even after being manhandled by SAHM's it's still soft and fluffy Charmin. Really??? what were the advertisers thinking?  Wait it must be effective because 40 years later I still have the tag line running though my head.  Then again I can't stand Charmin so altho effective at making me remember the commercial, it also keeps me from buying it. :-)

Sometimes I feel like reenacting these commercials in the local grocery store.  Get a bunch of ladies together to go stand in the paper product aisle and pass a 6 pack of toilet paper back and forth hugging it like it's our BFF.

Hey look I finally made it. 

How often is the bathroom the place where irritations start in relationships? I know one man who got a divorce after 2 weeks, why... his now x-wife could not stand the way he brushed his teeth. Oh my! The mind boggles.

So as I tided up the bathroom today I kept noting the little things that irritate us so.
Diabetic supplies overflowing the tiny garbage bin on the counter, balled up dental floss that missed the trash, the toothpaste squeezed in the middle, the tweezers not put away, a sink full of hair clippings. Hair ties scattered like colorful rings across the counter.  (please note this is mix of what irritates us both) We all have these small irritations, no matter how harmonious a relationship looks, we are human and will always find things that rub us the wrong way.

But then what do I see, the right kind of toilet paper on the roll.  It made me smile and it made me think of when we bought it. I was so tired and my feet were hurting when we finally reached the grocery store after a round of Dr. appointments.  He said "Go sit in the Starbuck's (in the front of the store) and call your friend.  I'll get the stuff on the list." Gratefully I got a Decaf Americano doctored it up with cream and sugar and had coffee with a friend.  Now isn't he wonderful, but the story gets better! He travels across the entire store back to me to ask "Is this the right toilet paper?" Holding up the Charmin... Who hoo I get to choose and I can tell him to get any other kind but that one."  What a guy, willing to traverse the grocery store trailing two children in search of the perfect paper.

Will I still squeeze my toothpaste tube the way I like to and may he continue to squeeze it the way he likes to? Yup!  Will these things irritate us still? Yup (some days more than others.) Will I still love him like crazy because he's so awesome Yup :-)  That love of Christ, that overpouring of the Spirit within us that enables me to love myself and love others, is the reason I can.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Ewwww Ticks!

I hate the smell of off... yet I live in tick country so, I took some time to make some DYI "Bug Stuff." After doing some research I picked some options for a Essential Oil based Bug repellent (or discourager).   I noticed last year when I wore lemongrass the mosquitoes would occasionally bite me, unless anyone else was around, then they never went after me.

I took 5 drops of Geranium, 5 drops of Peppermint, 5 of Lavender, and 10 drops of Lemongrass and added it to 4 oz of coconut oil melted. I put it in this cute tub I have and it smells fantastic. I messed about with other flavors and blends but this is the one I liked the best. My Hubby liked Thyme added in but it didn't suit me.  The Geranium is supposed to discourage ticks, and the coconut oil is lovely for my skin.