So getting back into the swing of things after the winter break, did not go as well as one could hope. We have been focusing on independence for Sweet Potato, otherwise know as "Lets all get Mom to stop being a nag."
Some things that were suggested but due to distractibility and what I call the "Ho Hum Factor" we have tried that before and it flopped in motivating her. Let her do one subject then get a mini reward such as drawing a picture or candy...
Why this doesn't work for my kiddo...
If you stop her she looses traction. She doesn't like to draw and she doesn't like most candy.
Let her have a 15 min break every 45 minutes (like Finland!) This was a flop. She took 15 minutes to get into her work and within 15 minutes was asking when the next break was. Sadly this worked out as 30 min of work then 15 min of distracted non work 15 min of play, 15 min to settle down into her work, repeat. Epic Fail... sorry Finland.
An event scheduled later in the day: This was 50-50 in success but tiring for mom. It also backfired into us having to get ready for an event and her not being done, thus making us all late. *Fume*
One thing that worked wonders is telling her she could go to Macy's and spend her gift card. Wow that motivated her in a major way she was done and done well by 1pm that day. Both her therapist and I decided 1. This was not cost effective. & 2. Not a good plan, ever!
So you ask have I found something that works? Well I think so, it maybe too soon to declare it a winner, but I have great hopes. I sat her down and talked about her need to do her work well, be on time for school and not be late. We are talking 9 am here, In PJ's is fine, but she needs to have all her medical stuff done, she needs to have eaten, and finished self care by "School Start." I took the approach that if this were her job she would get fired. Of course she took this opportunity to point out, in her world that wasn't a bad thing. Fired From School Wooot!!! Can I have Instagram now and the keys to the car too??? Back tracking I told her getting fired from school was unacceptable. If she is on time and does all her check listed items she gets "jewels." (Dollar store). When she has 30 jewels she can spend up to 3$ on an app or buy a song on her iPod.
I continued with: If this was a public school you would be tardy, and unexcused tardiness gets you dentation and "No, playing with the dogs for an hour is not an acceptable excuse." In fact there really is no excuse other than sickness, you live and work here. You can present yourself ready at the proper time if you choose to, the choice is up to you. Oh and how ever long you are late, is how long the detention is, It is all in your hands my dear. During detention you will write lines, but not with Professor Umbrage's quill that would be cruel.
Day 1 Late
Day 2 Late
Day 3 On time barely because Mom broke the rules and rousted her out of bed *Bad Mommy*
Day 4 Late
We are not talking 5 min late some days she was 1 and a half hours late. It was amazing the dawdling she could come up with.
I thought this is not really getting the job done. Conferring with the principal brought about a brain wave... the mindset of our parents, what would have happened to me if I got detention in high school? Oh wait I did get detention in High School... ONCE... my dad was the Vice Principal at the time, I toed the line in and out of school or there were pretty sever consequences. It was not an act I wished to repeat... EVER. It wasn't worth the risk. Now after 1 detention (for being disrespectful to a teacher) I got grounded at home. Just once... here this child has been in detention 3 times... So she got grounded for being in detention 3 times. It was not fun. While she was grounded, she had to do school work. No sitting around in your room alone. *nope* (She got one and a half school day's finished!)
Day 5 On time
The next week (Day 6) she was late AGAIN! not so badly but still late. I was PMS'ing I hit the roof. Mom doesn't want to nag I don't want to loose it, I don't want to be angry every morning, it's not peaceful. It hit me I was having her write the wrong things. I changed what she had to write about being late. It is not respectful to be late. I will treat my teacher and school with respect. When I turned it around and asked her if when she went to public school if she would have been late 4 times? She said NO!
OH wait I sent her in once without an excuse (yup you guessed it dawdling) she got lunch detention and never ever did that again. So why did she "hurry up" for school??? because she didn't want to let her teacher down. Can you picture me rolling my eyes... So How bout now? How bout we try this?
New lines about respect and pointing out as parents we still will give consequences for "school" misbehavior. Grandma would never have put up with a kid that got multiple detentions. Nope not happening. Not tolerated, you want a life? You do your "job" of school or your life gets uncomfortable real fast. So you were late again, guess what school gives you detention and Mom and Dad give you extra chores that eat into your iPod time.
Oh and we have decided the iPod is not healthy so it's now limited to 4pm-8pm.
Day 7-11 On time sometimes she's early and has already started.
*boing* *boing* *smash*
That's my eyeballs falling out and my jaw dropping in shock.
Today she counted out her jewels and bought a song her sister also wanted. Since we have family sharing, her sister also got to download it. This is so unusual and awesome! Sweet Potato choose a song she knew they both wanted. *Win Win*