After a pretty lax first day of school, working at the ministry, some emails for the ministry, and more school, I hopped out to water my gasping garden. Imagine my disappointment when I realized the birds had gotten all the ripe tomatoes. Booo Hoo! Bad Birds!!! Off to Rosemeade Market I went to get tomatoes for homemade salsa.
The kids wanted to come with me, so I let them. I love my new to me car in that, the passenger side air bag turns off when a kid sits in the front seat. Sweet Potato asked "Can I sit in the front with you?" I said "Yes!" oo getting in an extra yes today. Off we went, we saw our favorite cashier behind the counter and got a deal on red bell peppers .99 cents each!
As were driving back home I change to an oldies station. Normally I keep it on the Christian radio station because the music is so awesome, but lately they have been running so many boring commercials. I notice Sweet Potato is pouting because apparently she doesn't like rock n roll. Does this mean I get an A+ in Christian parenting? On comes the song More Today Than Yesterday... sitting at a long light Little Miss Sunshine and I are car dancing to the music. Yes I have one eye on the road and the light! So were being silly, Sweet Potato is looking out the window ignoring her weird family, but we start singing the song to her. She looks up at us, glances and looks away then looks back, starts to giggle. I love how most of this song fits how much I love her.
"Oh, I love you more today than yesterday
But not as much as tomorrow
I love you more today than yesterday
But, darling, not as much as tomorrow"
The whole chorus can just be sung over and over at her. I loved how she broke out of the "You Guys are so WEIRD" thing and just enjoyed being sung at till the light turned green. I could tell I was connecting and she was accepting my love, my words, Yippie. You know who cares if the person in the car next to me thinks I'm as nutty as a squirrel. Being goofy with my kids makes me approachable something I need work on, not to mention it is also very fun.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Walking The Walk
Today we got together with another adoptive family and watched chapter 4 of Trust Based Parenting.
Usually we watch the chapter and then discuss it. How it applies to our lives, where were going wrong, what were doing right, and is it working in our homes etc. Not today we were constantly stopping and starting the video to talk about how it worked in our homes. We could not stop chatting about our failures, yup like many other parents I'm sure I'm scarring my children for life, and our successes in the journey our families are on. I really enjoy these times with other like minded families, it's a place to share our growth and back sliding without fear.
We chatted about how other people just don't get it. So often as an adoptive parent, your child displays grief of an unknown origin. If you mention this to a natural mother they often respond, "But they have so much love here in their new home why should they cry?" I love how my friend put it. "Can you picture me responding to this mom, oh so if I took your kid, and moved them into a new home you can just be replaced by another home and love?"
Sweet Potato used to fantasize about her birth mom, then she got angry at her, now she loves her, but it just makes her sad. Today's chapter talked about letting the child talk about birth parents, and how the child will go though many differing chapters of their stories before they get to the heart of how they feel. Often children are incapable of handling the emotion of their life. They do not have all the tools in their tool box yet. Think about it. Somehow we believe this story of everything is better now that the child is in a safe and loving home. When adults who experiences these same type of traumas often need years of therapy, even when they are in a safe and loving home.
Where did we get the idea that children can handle the rough stuff? Ok, yes we see that they can adapt to many unusual situations. I have a sneaking suspicion it's is out of necessity and not out of an inherent ability. If Karyn Purvis is right, the kids aren't necessarily adapting, but rather retreating into a lower level of brain function. So they are walking, but they may not be talking.
I do want to share how I managed to diffused a situation this week... yet again Sweet Potato was purposely messing up the last problem in her math worksheet. She could do it, but was playing dumb. I really get annoyed at this behavior it can trigger my dark side. I so want to praise her success's, I hate to see her fail on purpose. I figured out she was delaying, wasting my time and failing on purpose, she so knew the answer! Instead of raising my voice or flipping out, I told her she was gonna get it... I got an ice cube from the freezer and chased her like a goofy mom around the house, till I cornered her (she let me) and popped it down the back of her shirt. Yeah! instead of me pulling a freak face, and blowing it. I ended up with playful interaction and us in a giggling heap at the end of it.
Usually we watch the chapter and then discuss it. How it applies to our lives, where were going wrong, what were doing right, and is it working in our homes etc. Not today we were constantly stopping and starting the video to talk about how it worked in our homes. We could not stop chatting about our failures, yup like many other parents I'm sure I'm scarring my children for life, and our successes in the journey our families are on. I really enjoy these times with other like minded families, it's a place to share our growth and back sliding without fear.
We chatted about how other people just don't get it. So often as an adoptive parent, your child displays grief of an unknown origin. If you mention this to a natural mother they often respond, "But they have so much love here in their new home why should they cry?" I love how my friend put it. "Can you picture me responding to this mom, oh so if I took your kid, and moved them into a new home you can just be replaced by another home and love?"
Sweet Potato used to fantasize about her birth mom, then she got angry at her, now she loves her, but it just makes her sad. Today's chapter talked about letting the child talk about birth parents, and how the child will go though many differing chapters of their stories before they get to the heart of how they feel. Often children are incapable of handling the emotion of their life. They do not have all the tools in their tool box yet. Think about it. Somehow we believe this story of everything is better now that the child is in a safe and loving home. When adults who experiences these same type of traumas often need years of therapy, even when they are in a safe and loving home.
Where did we get the idea that children can handle the rough stuff? Ok, yes we see that they can adapt to many unusual situations. I have a sneaking suspicion it's is out of necessity and not out of an inherent ability. If Karyn Purvis is right, the kids aren't necessarily adapting, but rather retreating into a lower level of brain function. So they are walking, but they may not be talking.
I do want to share how I managed to diffused a situation this week... yet again Sweet Potato was purposely messing up the last problem in her math worksheet. She could do it, but was playing dumb. I really get annoyed at this behavior it can trigger my dark side. I so want to praise her success's, I hate to see her fail on purpose. I figured out she was delaying, wasting my time and failing on purpose, she so knew the answer! Instead of raising my voice or flipping out, I told her she was gonna get it... I got an ice cube from the freezer and chased her like a goofy mom around the house, till I cornered her (she let me) and popped it down the back of her shirt. Yeah! instead of me pulling a freak face, and blowing it. I ended up with playful interaction and us in a giggling heap at the end of it.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Secret Chocolate Peanut Butter Pudding
Caving to demand here is how I made it.
2 Avocados
1/3 cup Cocoa
1/2 cup Raw Honey
1/4 cup Peanut Butter
Tossed it all in the blender and blended well. Kids had no clue it was healthy. It's a great way to add fiber and guilt free chocolate to your diet. And I'm all about the guilt free chocolate.
Many recipes call for agave nectar. So I'm sure you can sub that in. I found as chocolate pudding it's a bit to bitter. When I tasted it it was also just a wee bit off. Adding the peanut butter helped boost the chocolate and creamy aspects of the pudding.
Eat within a few hours of chilling it. I noticed it got grainy overnight so it's not a make the day before dish. It only takes a few minutes to make, so I know this will become a family favorite. Especially when Avacados are .50 cents each (I tend to over buy at that price).
We love guacamole but even my family gets tired of it after 4 days in a row.
Hope you guys like it.
2 Avocados
1/3 cup Cocoa
1/2 cup Raw Honey
1/4 cup Peanut Butter
Tossed it all in the blender and blended well. Kids had no clue it was healthy. It's a great way to add fiber and guilt free chocolate to your diet. And I'm all about the guilt free chocolate.
Many recipes call for agave nectar. So I'm sure you can sub that in. I found as chocolate pudding it's a bit to bitter. When I tasted it it was also just a wee bit off. Adding the peanut butter helped boost the chocolate and creamy aspects of the pudding.
Eat within a few hours of chilling it. I noticed it got grainy overnight so it's not a make the day before dish. It only takes a few minutes to make, so I know this will become a family favorite. Especially when Avacados are .50 cents each (I tend to over buy at that price).
We love guacamole but even my family gets tired of it after 4 days in a row.
Hope you guys like it.
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