Ever have one of those nights where your slacking and the kids are still up... it's way past their bed time and you realize; "They must go to bed now! Or I may end up in the funny farm." Yup I had that kinda night.
My Knight in Shining Armor is really awesome he puts them to bed most nights. When we first adopted I was working from home and I typically worked 7pm to 11pm. Thus he got into the habit of putting the child to bed. I have carefully nurtured this habit for a decade.
Tonight was a different story, work followed him home today. It happens, we usually roll with the punches and carry on. Alas Sweet Potato did something with the right intentions but with bad results. I ended up helping her make a cloth book cover to fix her sisters quiet time journal, she accidentally "ruined." Bed time routine got delayed. I also felt it would behoove me to make a cover for Sweet Potatoes journal. I know the green eyed monster will rear it's ugly head as soon as she figures out her sisters QT journal is prettier than her plain old one. So I took the 20 minutes now, to stave off hideousness later. I think this falls under the High Nurture part of I.D.E.A.L. parenting. It was the last thing I wanted to do but I knew I needed to do it.
I have come to the conclusion that Sweet Potato is in no way a princess. How did I come to this conclusion you ask??? Well after I had managed to get them clothed in PJ's, snacks eaten, teeth brushed, hugs and kisses delivered, a drink of water given, Daddy is now required to pray with them before they can go to sleep. Alas the room was in need of some clean up. A full morning working at the cafe, followed by a full day of school apparently means while we were away a tornado hit just their room.
I check on the mess Daddy is concern about and, yes it qualifies as a fire hazard. A 5 minute room rescue is in order. I step out to let them work magic on their room. You know stuff all clothing in corners hide books under the bed...
Upon my return I note the classic pile and hide technique was employed by Sweet Potato. It was all I could do not to bust out laughing. A 2.5 foot hump was at the end of her bed covered in a bright yellow poke-a-dotted blanket. I pulled off the blanket and I found
4 pairs of jeans (clean)
4 pairs of shorts (clean)
2 pairs of shorts (dirty)
3 pairs of undies (questionable)
1 pair of leggings (clean)
a kitchen towel (huh?)
a bath towel (dry!)
coloring book
a Nancy Drew (now dog eared)
2 Star Wars graphic novels (fair condition)
1 set of pajamas (questionable)
1 adult slip (how did that get in here?)
3 blankets (assorted sizes) and yes we keep our house at 80 in the hot summers these are a necessity!!!
While sitting on the bed folding and sorting and making her put things away, I find something sticking into me... So I commence dissecting her bed.
Anyone who can sleep with the following IN her bed cannot possibly pass the Princess Pea Test.
6 leggo pieces ranging from Darth Vaders head to a 3x5 building plate.
4 pens
2 pencils (Sharp!)
2 markers (caps were on!)
3 Journals
1 3 ring binder
7 stuffed animals
4 blankets (including the weighted blanket) note were up to 7 blankets.
2 LIBRARY!!! books Yippie Found!!! (that are not allowed to be in her bed room for fear of them being eaten by the dog.) Why that dog loves library books is beyond me, but he cannot resist them!
1 flashlight (batteries dead)
3 full size pillows (hello 2 of these are the guest pillows! No Dog Hair allowed!, needs must wash these now.)
and 4 pairs of undies... (now I know why she can't find any underwear.)
I have not been able to stop giggling as I write this, I'm sure my mom found as much stuff, if not more in my bed at various times in my life. I am absolutely positive, it was super uncomfortable, but since she managed to sleep without complaint she cannot be a princess. :-P
Showing posts with label I.D.E.A.L. parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I.D.E.A.L. parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Walking The Walk
Today we got together with another adoptive family and watched chapter 4 of Trust Based Parenting.
Usually we watch the chapter and then discuss it. How it applies to our lives, where were going wrong, what were doing right, and is it working in our homes etc. Not today we were constantly stopping and starting the video to talk about how it worked in our homes. We could not stop chatting about our failures, yup like many other parents I'm sure I'm scarring my children for life, and our successes in the journey our families are on. I really enjoy these times with other like minded families, it's a place to share our growth and back sliding without fear.
We chatted about how other people just don't get it. So often as an adoptive parent, your child displays grief of an unknown origin. If you mention this to a natural mother they often respond, "But they have so much love here in their new home why should they cry?" I love how my friend put it. "Can you picture me responding to this mom, oh so if I took your kid, and moved them into a new home you can just be replaced by another home and love?"
Sweet Potato used to fantasize about her birth mom, then she got angry at her, now she loves her, but it just makes her sad. Today's chapter talked about letting the child talk about birth parents, and how the child will go though many differing chapters of their stories before they get to the heart of how they feel. Often children are incapable of handling the emotion of their life. They do not have all the tools in their tool box yet. Think about it. Somehow we believe this story of everything is better now that the child is in a safe and loving home. When adults who experiences these same type of traumas often need years of therapy, even when they are in a safe and loving home.
Where did we get the idea that children can handle the rough stuff? Ok, yes we see that they can adapt to many unusual situations. I have a sneaking suspicion it's is out of necessity and not out of an inherent ability. If Karyn Purvis is right, the kids aren't necessarily adapting, but rather retreating into a lower level of brain function. So they are walking, but they may not be talking.
I do want to share how I managed to diffused a situation this week... yet again Sweet Potato was purposely messing up the last problem in her math worksheet. She could do it, but was playing dumb. I really get annoyed at this behavior it can trigger my dark side. I so want to praise her success's, I hate to see her fail on purpose. I figured out she was delaying, wasting my time and failing on purpose, she so knew the answer! Instead of raising my voice or flipping out, I told her she was gonna get it... I got an ice cube from the freezer and chased her like a goofy mom around the house, till I cornered her (she let me) and popped it down the back of her shirt. Yeah! instead of me pulling a freak face, and blowing it. I ended up with playful interaction and us in a giggling heap at the end of it.
Usually we watch the chapter and then discuss it. How it applies to our lives, where were going wrong, what were doing right, and is it working in our homes etc. Not today we were constantly stopping and starting the video to talk about how it worked in our homes. We could not stop chatting about our failures, yup like many other parents I'm sure I'm scarring my children for life, and our successes in the journey our families are on. I really enjoy these times with other like minded families, it's a place to share our growth and back sliding without fear.
We chatted about how other people just don't get it. So often as an adoptive parent, your child displays grief of an unknown origin. If you mention this to a natural mother they often respond, "But they have so much love here in their new home why should they cry?" I love how my friend put it. "Can you picture me responding to this mom, oh so if I took your kid, and moved them into a new home you can just be replaced by another home and love?"
Sweet Potato used to fantasize about her birth mom, then she got angry at her, now she loves her, but it just makes her sad. Today's chapter talked about letting the child talk about birth parents, and how the child will go though many differing chapters of their stories before they get to the heart of how they feel. Often children are incapable of handling the emotion of their life. They do not have all the tools in their tool box yet. Think about it. Somehow we believe this story of everything is better now that the child is in a safe and loving home. When adults who experiences these same type of traumas often need years of therapy, even when they are in a safe and loving home.
Where did we get the idea that children can handle the rough stuff? Ok, yes we see that they can adapt to many unusual situations. I have a sneaking suspicion it's is out of necessity and not out of an inherent ability. If Karyn Purvis is right, the kids aren't necessarily adapting, but rather retreating into a lower level of brain function. So they are walking, but they may not be talking.
I do want to share how I managed to diffused a situation this week... yet again Sweet Potato was purposely messing up the last problem in her math worksheet. She could do it, but was playing dumb. I really get annoyed at this behavior it can trigger my dark side. I so want to praise her success's, I hate to see her fail on purpose. I figured out she was delaying, wasting my time and failing on purpose, she so knew the answer! Instead of raising my voice or flipping out, I told her she was gonna get it... I got an ice cube from the freezer and chased her like a goofy mom around the house, till I cornered her (she let me) and popped it down the back of her shirt. Yeah! instead of me pulling a freak face, and blowing it. I ended up with playful interaction and us in a giggling heap at the end of it.
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