Monday, February 2, 2015

Communication Key to Your...

My Knight in Shining Armor and I were required to read "Communication Key to Your Marriage" as part of our pre-marrital counseling.  At this point in my life I could not tell you details of the book  it was a dry read if I recall it correctly.  Yet the main key issue "You need to communicate every day!" still shines though.  Every once in a while I look at hubby and say "Communication Key To Your Marriage."  my eyes glint as I say it.  We always laugh because it's usually when we are not communicating well.  It is a reset button for us. It can stop an argument Ahem I mean a discussion in it's tracks.

As I'm pondering the book Smart Trust I find truly, that communication is the key to relationships. I find it interesting that all the podcasts from Jon Acuff I'm randomly picking all boil down to communication. I'm wondering what God is trying to tell me.  

One of Karyn Purvis's key elements in parenting children from hard places is called giving voice.
Dave Ramsey's says a symptom that leads to divorce is not feeling heard.
Stephen Covey talks about listening with your gut.
Dr. Siegel spends a chapter on attachment styles, and you can see the clear thread that runs through them all - communication leads to the best relationships.

I find it interesting that in our training they pointed out neglect does far more damage to a child's development and future as a functioning adult than abuse. Abuse at the very least sends a message of "You have value."  Where as adoptive parents tend to think a neglected child who did not suffer pain of the body will have fewer issues. Yet the message a neglected child feels is "You are of no value."   Neither abuse or neglect should be praised in anyway they are both terrible things that take the right mix of love parenting and occasionally therapy to overcome. 

To me a lack of communication in a relationship is a form of neglect and it will always cause issues.

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