I've been using a new tool in my parenting tool box. It's a modified time-in... I call it Mom Grounded... because it feels like I'm the one being grounded ha ha ha ha. But seriously folks it's been working amazingly well. It is similar to the Time-in model where when you are not connecting with your child, so you wait for them to calm down, feed them, water them, then talk to them... In the teen years I'm not finding this as effective, she can sit on that couch for hours if need be.
Instead of grounding her to her room, or the house, or taking away her iPod, I "Mom Ground" the teen. This means they need to spend all their time with me, doing what I'm doing, after their chores and schoolwork is finished. It's not easy, as you the parent have to also spend all this extra time with your teen. On the other hand hey you get to spend a lot of time with your teenager.
What I have discovered while implementing this discipline:
The teen eventually stops being mad about it...
get their work done faster because you are on hand to help.
actually don't complain when you decide to watch a Nova or a Nature because hey the T.V. is ON whoo hoo!
help you do your work kind of like how a cat helps, but hey they are helping.
and while you are both sitting doing the mundane tasks of housework about 3 hours in... they start to talk.
They talk about their friends and their struggles, they ask your advice, they ask embarrassing (to them) questions, they find out funny things about you and laugh. Best of all you both remember how much you love one another.