One Step At A Time

Things have been changing slowly in my mind. We checked out a life group last Sunday, and boy was it fun, homeschooled kids, foster parents, people we really could connect with. It was pretty awesome. As I'm going to homeschool park days, taking my kids to social events and classes, meeting people who I don't have to explain what a cob house is... I'm finding my mind has been so narrow so limited.

"Reaching the lost at any cost" as given me such a limited viewpoint. At the bible study we were discussing Proverbs 29:18 the verse about "without vision my people perish." It really struck me forcefully. Do I have a vision? For 12 years my mindset has been "I'm a lifer, I'll be a missionary till I die. Serving God and having purpose in my life."  But what about now... I actually broke down in the meeting. I have been so focused on the here an now for the last 6 months, do I have Gods vision for our future? I can look back and see Gods grace in having me be right where I am supposed to be.  But what is it the Lord has for me going forward?

Today the homeschooling adoptive parent and I planned on a park day for the kids, but alas the light drizzle altho warm, made us not want to hang out in the wet. So we went to Starbucks.  I love the free refills, our kids took over a table and played some game involving slapping cards. Sweet Potato kept winning... I suspect collusion on the part of her new friends. She was engaged and happy without texting. My kids are so happy they have  found a "normal" to us family that really enjoys spending time with them.

The mom and I had a good talk, but mainly I listened, so many similarities in our lives.  She too has been hurt by ministry... given an unrealistic time line to move out of ministry provided housing, experienced prejudice because of the families race, as well as completely able to commiserate on the foibles of being an adoptive mom.   I'm so blown away that God is giving me this opportunity to connect with someone who is hurting in the exact same way, but is further along in the healing process.   After 2 hours that seemed to fly by, we had to go and buy food for dinner, the kids hugged we talked about Sunday and went on with the rest of our day.

I feel a bit like Samwise Gamgee, unlike Frodo he didn't have a quest, he was pitchforked into the fellowship because he was in the right place at the right time. Where is my life going? What is the plan?  I am probably over thinking it and I just need to wait on the Lord.

Mom's Grounded...

I've been using a new tool in my parenting tool box. It's a modified time-in... I call it Mom Grounded... because it feels like I'm the one being grounded ha ha ha ha. But seriously folks it's been working amazingly well.  It is similar to the Time-in model where when you are not connecting with your child, so you wait for them to calm down, feed them, water them, then talk to them... In the teen years I'm not finding this as effective, she can sit on that couch for hours if need be.

Instead of grounding her to her room, or the house, or taking away her iPod, I "Mom Ground" the teen. This means they need to spend all their time with me, doing what I'm doing, after their chores and schoolwork is finished.  It's not easy, as you the parent have to also spend all this extra time with your teen. On the other hand hey you get to spend a lot of time with your teenager.  

What I have discovered while implementing this discipline:
The teen eventually stops being mad about it...
get their work done faster because you are on hand to help.
actually don't complain when you decide to watch a Nova or a Nature because hey the T.V. is ON whoo hoo! 
help you do your work kind of like how a cat helps, but hey they are helping.
and while you are both sitting doing the mundane tasks of housework about 3 hours in... they start to talk.

They talk about their friends and their struggles, they ask your advice, they ask embarrassing (to them) questions, they find out funny things about you and laugh. Best of all you both remember how much you love one another.