Well I've been thinking about these lies our heart tells us about ourselves. I'll list some of mine so you can see the childhood messages that lurk in my brain. We know in our hearts they are not true, but deep in our right brain we fear they are true. When faced with them, we often fall into those old neuro-pathways. It's as if we are pulling out an ugly tattered coat to wear to a celebration when we have a new beautiful sweater in the closet.
You're a mess.
You're frustrating to be around.
Only sissies cry, being tough is the only way to survive.
You are not smart, you're really stupid.
Nobody wants to be your friend.
You're a freak. /misfit/strange/weird/not normal. This list goes on forever...
You're childish not childlike.
I don't deserve good things.
But lets face it, some people will always view someone, with at least one of those childhood messages in the forefront. All people embody at least one of those traits at anyone given time, we're Human after all. Judgment comes much easier than compassion for many.
I'm often surprised when someone calls me pretty or beautiful.
Are you sure your talking to me?
I'm always shocked on the inside when people say I'm smart.
Doesn't everybody read non-fiction?
Many days I look at my Knight in Shining Armor and I'm so grateful he married me, that he loves me with all my faults. I'm so amazed this diamond in the rough wanted to marry me.
I've come face to face with the reality "Unconditional Love is an ideal not aways a reality. A thing God accomplish's everyday, but humans not so well. We can have it as our goal, and we can try and often succeed on a daily basis, but lets face it, our "baggage" will often get in the way. We will fail and ya know that is ok. I know I do not love my kids unconditionally every moment of every day. I do the best I can with what I got in my emotional storehouse that day. I know when I seek Christ and the inflowing of the Holy Spirit I do far better than when I try to stand on my own strength and "just do it" like Nike tells us to.
I think this is why God says his mercies are new every morning. We can chuck the no good, very bad day of yesterday... apologize, repair the wrongs and start fresh. I'm so glad my God doesn't keep a record of wrongs. All those vocal memories lurking in my brain I'm taking you out, scrubbing you up, and hanging you to dry in the wind. When I'm done with you I'm packing you back away in my logical side of my left brain where you can't jump out of the woodwork at me!