Faith When We Have No Faith.

This is a post about Feminine Issues so if you're one of my young homeschool readers looking for a watercolor post, I advise you skip this one :-). I've decided to take Mary's advice and be very honest in this post.

This is my behind the scenes post of how my life is just as messy as anyone elses.  Ahhh, I wish I had a photo of my own but thanks to Alley I have one!

Last week we were in prepare mode for The Declare Conference, My husband would be speaking to over one hundred ladies about the plight of women in Asia. Planning and gift ideas were all done, just the last minute details were needing to come together.  Then fear struck, on Thursday. As I'm calmly doing last minute packing, I realize my period is showing up early. I envy those ladies that can plan their life and know when Aunt Flo is going to arrive. In my mind she arrives for those ladies like they are in a tampon commercial. She is your personal trainer ready to take you running.  My Aunt Flo arrives willy-nilly pitchfork in hand with which she will proceed to chase me around the house stabbing me. Eventually I hide in my bedroom taking pain medication and napping, She decides to leave when my house is so dirty, to stay any longer would be pointless.  Altho I'm grateful when shes finally leaves, I'm quite annoyed with her because she makes such piles of laundry, dishes and the floors I can't even talk about the floors.

Here she was showing her unwelcome face just in time to attend The Declare Conference with me. *Insert primal scream here*  As I'm wandering the halls of Gospel For Asia in search of a clipboard. I was having a small interior pity party wondering if and how I'm going to survive this and begging God for mercy and menopause.

I run into Gay, she always has a smile for everyone and a hug if you want one.  I wanted one! She is one of those people you can always be very real with, so when she asked how I was doing I told her my fear! You see during our support trip in June I spent 4 hours behind our table one Sunday smiling and surreptitiously gobbling 4 advil at a time and hoping I wouldn't fall down because of the pain. I didn't dare take my real pain meds cause standing there asking people for money with a vacant smile on your face is never a good idea. I'm not sure the standing there with a smile on my face but pain in my eyes was all that helpful either.  My heart was sure history was about to repeat itself. Gay grabbed both my shoulders looked deep into my eyes and said "God loves you too much to do that, I have faith in Him."  My PMS emotional self said "Well I don't!"  She smiled and said "Thats ok I have enough for both of us." Then she prayed for me and sent me on my way.

Friday morning at 5:38 am Sweet Potato knocks on our door.  Oddly as so often happens my mommy radar was turned on and I was actually wide awake. I'd been sitting there in bed for 5 minutes wondering "Why am I up Lord?" So even tho I was groggy, I was not surprised she was up. After an hour of not admitting she was actually scared Mom and Dad are leaving for 2 days, she goes happily back to bed and gets to fall asleep for an hour. I'm now wired for sound at 6:30 in the morning (for those of you who don't know me, this is not my natural state), I tried to look on the bright side, at least I wasn't trying to catch a plane. Yes on the day of the Conference Aunt Flo is here and I've gotten a grand total of 3 hours of sleep. I knew I should have gone to bed earlier.  I had lots of apprehensions on how this day was going to go.

Friday and Saturday were wonderful! *happy dance*  history did not repeat itself.  I got to talk to lots of ladies about my favorite topics India and adoption. I had a blast ,and it was so much fun. I don't know how Gay did it but she stole Aunt Flo's pitchfork on Friday and didn't give it back till Monday night. (Aunt Flo is currently playing Just Dance with my kids and making a mess in my living room). Yes I took a few Advil while I was there, but God is so wonderful to show me even when I have lost faith in Him, others can and will help my disbelief.