Faith and Fear

So its 1 AM and I can hear Sweet Potato coughing, *sigh* The Vest (huh what is The Vest?? click here) is working, much less coughing but the night time coughing is still interrupting her sleep.  A few days ago she was complaining of stomach aches and My Knight In Shining Armor was worried about Appendicitis (Because it can strike at any time!!!)  He made her do the kick and cough thing. And Sweet Potato's response just reinforced my believe in her "sympathy cough."   She looked at Dad and said "But I can only fake cough right now I don't have any real coughs."  (Ahhh Ha!! I was right! She does cough extra when it gets her extra attention!!! And do you blame her!)

Were still working things out with the insurance company so far Cigna looks to be stepping up and doing the right thing. I hope it continues in that vein. But looking at a piece of equipment that is a huge chunk of change to this missionary family gave me personally a few days of fear! How will The Father pay for it! (no Dad I don't mean you ;-) but thanks for the braces check we appreciate that.) I can see it may clean out our emergency fund and missionary mobile fund. But I don't think we will need to take on debt. Whew!  But then we will have to start all over again rebuilding those, yes yes I know that is what they are there for.

Part of me wishes I was more mature and had less of a fearful reaction to the exorbitant cost.I keep thinking if I was more of a mature christian, this "walking by faith" wouldn't be so scary. Why can't I just look back and see He is gonna be there for us.  I mean He provided in so many ways to pay for Little Miss Sunshine's adoption. And giving credit where it is due Who knew a cartoon about Dogs locked up in the pound click here would cause support to come into our life. By the way Way to Go Mike! on winning all those awards for your animations.   (We'll put it to good use buying medical equipment.) May "Pound Dogs" go on to amuse the men of this world and gross out the ladies for many years to come. *wink*

I sometimes wonder what was the agency thinking "Sweet potato was labeled as "Mild" but parents must be open to unknowns in the future.... then I think What was I thinking!!!  that our family would be fine normal and never have any problems. Life is NOT assured to be happy and fine all the time. People get in car accidents and end up with brain trauma, cancer hits very young children, and even me the child of my parents has learning disabilities that still make me use spell check far more often than your average Joe.

Not picking anything "rough" on that form of how: severely damaged a child are you willing to take. Was more of a self assessment of what we thought we could handle. God knew we had far greater depth.

What I can stand firm on is the fact that God knows Our hearts, Our limits, and He put these children in our lives to raise as best we can.  Ahh well the coughing has awoken her so I'm off to tuck her back in and pray this time she sleeps without coughing herself awake again.

'

Mystery of the Missing Math Book

So school ground to a halt today as I left Little Miss Sunshine to "FIND" her math work book. I'm a big believer  in taking personal responsibility of your stuff. I don't actually remember being responsible for my own stuff as a kid, I just remember yelling "Mom Where is My......" an awful lot. Not wanting to suffer my Sainted mothers fate of being the Go To person when something is lost. I don't help until all hope is lost... then we usually find it with in 5 minutes or it's lost forever. Oh the tragedy of it all... 


LMS and LM searched for the missing math book for 30 minutes while I snuck off to the bed room and had a 20 minute power nap. After a while the silence woke me up and they had moved on from looking to hey mom is sleeping lets get in some play time. Oopsie!  I walk in to find them dressed for Laura Ingalls, too cute...

The math book was still missing so I glanced around and saw the spine of it lurking in Little M's drawer. *sigh* Little M then proceeded to take a long swim in d'Nile and ended up all washed up. Long story short. Yesterday Little M broke the rules (in a really obvious way).  Mom asked who did it? Both children denied doing any of it. Both got time outs until the perpetrator confessed.  Dad convinced the guilty party to throw herself on the mercy of the court. Verdict 30 min to bed early...

But did she really Go To bed early last night? Nooooooo well she did sort of... but got up to brush her teeth because she forgot too. Then she primped in mirror for 15 minutes and still wasn't in her PJ's by the time the usual bed time rolled around.  Ya know some days you just have to let them play out the line.. then you hook em.  We pointed out since she didn't actually go to bed early Monday night she has to go to bed early Tuesday night... But Mom!!! it's Prayer meeting night!!!!  This kid is sooooooooooo Smart! She knew it's a big deal to miss prayer meeting and that we often chose prayer meeting over discipline and by Wednesday Mom and Dad will have forgotten she still has an early to bed payment due.

Anyway at some point during the getting ready for bed last night.. (She was mad her sister got to stay up to the regular bed time.) she decided to be Darth Anikin... yes the Dark side took over. She stole her sisters math work book and hid it in her special drawer. Knowing full well it will be a big disruption and Little Miss Sunshine can suffer the consequences of no recess (oh the horror!) because she wouldn't find her math book because it was not put away. Muhahahahahahahaha   can't you just hear it.. the dark side laughter.  But of course that is not how it turns out because the Light Side always wins out. *plays Star Wars theme music*

During our conversation about why we don't steal (is this becoming a weekly theme or what???) She told me all about wanting to be Darth Anikin last night, but in the end she decided she wanted to be Luke rather than a "Darth"

Some days ya just gotta meet them where they are at.. it was all I could do not to burst out laughing while discussing how to have self control, using dark side and light side examples.  She has had to be extra kind to her sister all day and Yes! she is going to bed extra early tonight and missing prayer. can we say backfired!

I was gonna take photos of the sputum sample we got this morning for the lab but Hubby confiscated the camera... Hope those germs stayed alive during the trip to the hospital.

The Lung Report

Yes its that time to update you on Little M's Little Lungs.
She had a Dr.s appointment today. Her lungs still sound the same, she is definitely coughing more.
So if you work at the U of R's pediatric pulmonology department... could you please forward My kids records!!!! Dr doesn't want to do a battery of tests over again since she had pile of them when she was 3.

So we wait some more... Grrrrrr....
I feel so Stupid... My knight in shining armor could have harassed them every day for 2 weeks that would have moved the records into my Dr's hands. Ahh well we play the waiting game.

So tomorrow morning I get to try and convince Little M to spit up lung mucus into a cup. We tried the hospital
lab but she just couldn't bring her self to spit. Sigh.. Who know Motherhood involved making your child spit up in front of people.  Isn't my life so super exciting.  So now were gonna try the spit up into a specimen cup in private.   Then as soon as it gets in the cup we have to go go go go deliver it to the lab ASAP so the germs don't die before they can culture them.

At least it is for a good cause. They get to grow it in a petri dish and see if there is a bacteria causing the mucus to form.    Then they will test it because she has notorious bacteria that seems to be resistant to every Antibiotic out there.  Ever wonder if germs are really aliens??  So were back to wait an see... wait for records and getting gunky stuff out of her, wait for culture, wait wait wait... And the Dr doesn't want to wait he thinks there is good chance of reversing her troubles and making her lungs even more stable.  I really like that he is optimistic.

Mean while the Vest thing is not yet billed (its pending) so we still have no idea how much this costing us. *sigh* But if it helps her breath better its worth every penny God is going to give us to pay for it. 


its a busy week with her Little Giant Steps evaluation Doctors visits, and Orthodontia.  Will school get completed? do do do do  doooo do dooo  stay tuned for the next installment of The Lung Report...