I talked to my sister last night and she came up with Evil Twin Mom title.
Yesterday was a a rough homeschooling day. One where everyone ends up crying and the principal is called in. I had to run errands in the afternoon and It's never fun when you have to bring school with you. I was having one of those days where I could tell the child was imputing some hurt or pain on to me.
Foolishly asking "WHY are you being this way????" only brought more grief to Mama. Finding myself begin manipulated by the child yet again. while I'm driving It just made me so doggone mad! So I did the safe thing and pulled over, parked in the shade and said "Look I pulled this beat right over! Were gonna sit here for a bit so Mama can cool off."
I then went back to Karyn Purvis's scripts cause when we fail, it's best to just go back to the beginning and try again. Sweet Potato is so worth working though all these issues she's got.
I asked the age old question that always works.. "What will make this better?" silence
"Do I need to apologize for something?
but I wait for it..
Wait for it...
She looks at me and says "You won't like it."
Me: "I got big shoulders."
Long story short She has been carrying around a chip on her shoulder all day because I was mean.
You see She asked me (my evil twin) in her imagination, if she could do something.
My imaginary (evil twin) self told her "No". Wow she's got one wild imagination! Glad to see it developing after all these years.
I told her to ask me the "real" Mom in the car with her at that moment.
SW: But you will say No...
Me: Try me just try me...
SW: Can I do XYZ?
Me: Yes when your school is finished of course.
SW: I can
Me: Sure if you have free time.
Me: So you have been mad at me all day for something I didn't do?
SW: I suppose... yeah..
Me: I'd like an apology.
I'd like to point out this is not a good apology. She is not using her words, she is not owning up to her fault.
At this point I made her redo the apology and I told her what I needed her to say. I knew that was the fastest and easiest way to get it over and done, so we could move on from this awful place we have been living in all day.
I'm reminded of Corrie Ten Boom, when she was asked for forgiveness by a Nazi guard. She didn't want to give it, but she did say the words because it is what God wanted for her. Then after she had said it, the feelings came. I think this is really an important step to do in parenting. Even if she doesn't say it like she means it, right now. The feelings of being forgiven will come, I think that is most important, when you are angry at someone it hurts you far more than it hurts the person you are angry at.