Little M suffered an immediate loss of a grace token, and a repetition of the Why We Don't Steal talk. An amusing side note when I asked her why she took this stuff. She told me she covenanted it... Oh Man I'm still smiling over that one... I said in a happy voice "Ooo you made a special promise to your sister? Wow great what did you promise her." She wasn't amused But LMS was. No Mom covenanted it!! I wanted it so I took it. Ohhh you stole it because you coveted it?? Yes I want nice things too. Now she has plenty of things that start out nice, but degrade rapidly in her presence. She's one fantastic catalyst. After some discussion she got to keep the out grown purple princess shirt since she was saying it made her feel safe. Everything else had to be returned to owner.
This evening I was not surprised when she was having a hissy fit that her sister stole her Water Bottle. That whole imputing on others, the feeling we ourselves feel, coming into play. So Mom says "Hey look at the time!!! Your 10 min late to bed scoot! scoot! I will look for the missing water bottle."
I think the Holy spirit works over time in my house. I really do, It's not really mommy radar it's God tapping me on the shoulder saying Hey look at that... go look in here. Check on the kids. I think they are alive today because God has assigned us extra guardian angels to watch over us. One just changed my ENT appointment from the morning where I was double booked, to the one spot in the afternoon I had open that day. It was on my list of things to do this morning and I wasn't able to do any of that list today.
I went and looked for water bottle in the last place she had hidden it. Yup you guessed it -THE DRAWER. Nope it wasn't there... I'm thinking I should take pictures of The Infamous DRAWER. She's at it again. *sigh* A handy wall got a few head bangs for good measure. Can you guess what I found in the drawer this time? Well it looks like she took a really wet soap and rubbed the insides. Shall we give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was trying to clean it... Ahh don't bother she already confessed... but... because on top of the big mess of dried soap scum is half a tube of sunscreen. I don't think I'll be assuming anything. It's bad to assume, facts are so much more factual.
|The Infamous Drawer|
So I go to get her up out of bed yet again so I can do the whole quiet parenting thing and just make her look at it. Behold!!!! before I get to the door, a crying child comes flying out of the bed room. Oh my Little Miss Sunshine Crying? it happens really. Mom shes being so mean and Shushing me whaaaaaaa... Wait let me get this straight your in bed the light is off your supposed to be trying to go to sleep and YOUR talking??? (Weeeeeee some misbehavior woo hoo oh wait will non-adoptive parents understand that it is a reason for rejoicing.) But since I can only handle once crises at a time I say Go sleep on the couch. Huge smile child runs off happy problem momentarily solved, and yes I can deal with it tomorrow.
Little M come here... Not even dealing with the whole meanness to sister, I point her head in the direction of THE DRAWER. "I didn't Do IT!" she yells... So I took her to the grace tokens and pulled one for tomorrow. For wreaking stuff and then lying about it. Now I took a peek in that drawer yesterday and last night at 1AM I heard her open this drawer and then close it. Earlier today they had 2 soaps on the bathroom sink, girls girls you can share a soap and tooth paste it's not hard, just no sharing of the tooth brushes. I moved soap to the shower which had none, when I picked up the soap I noticed it had bits of particle board stuck to it.. Really I should have been a CSI investigator.
We had yet another talk about heart issues, and she started crying that her heart hurts. Oh thank Heaven, praise the Lord, Grief!!! Yeah Grief!!! true Honest Grief! She cried for an hour clinging to me like I was a rock in a storm. What??? A hug! Seeking comfort From Big Bad Meal ol Mommy??? Whoa Nellie!!! I of course wept as well when did I turn into such a watering pot? She needs to cry all the rocks out of her heart. We don't listen to pop music and she certainly doesn't read twaddle. So when she tearfully said "Mom I think my heart is broken." She didn't mean she lost her non existent boyfriend, but rather she sees such messy ugly sadness in her heart and it is truly broken, that it doesn't work right. Loss of a birth family will do that. This child's grief is profound and bound up to much in her heart. I told her to cry it all out and when it gets full again she needs to cry it all out some more, but it will heal if she chooses to let it. It may not stop hurting forever but it will heal.
I'm wondering if the stealing, the lying, and the destruction is a direct result of the praise I lavished on her yesterday. I did say I was ready for it. Ahh the 2 steps forward and 1 and a half back life I lead.