Did You Notice?

That old saying the shoemakers kids never have shoes is true of web developer wives. For years my hubby has been talking about shifting my blog to Wordpress, getting me monetized as in adding a button for our missionary support, as well as a few other things web related. He was home sick last month with a nasty cold I think he caught it from Mr. Coughy sitting next to him on the plane. I casually mentioned my MIA button and the next thing I know he's asking me what my blog log in is. Huh what who where?  Ta da! its on my side bar!

So I have officially given you the means to get a tax deduction :-) click the link and support this missionary mama! We do need more support. The move too the ACA has kinda killed our current budget. I'm grateful for health care, but the costs are spinning out of control.  Until it stabilizes our input is less than our output. ick! Any and all support is welcome! Do remember our support is raised separately from donations given to the field. 100% of donations given to the field go there, not here.  I really was attracted GFA in the first place because of that integrity, and the fact they had woman missionaries.  

Big XOXOX to my Knight in Shining Armor for making a button 

Love ya baby! 

Mom's Grounded...

I've been using a new tool in my parenting tool box. It's a modified time-in... I call it Mom Grounded... because it feels like I'm the one being grounded ha ha ha ha. But seriously folks it's been working amazingly well.  It is similar to the Time-in model where when you are not connecting with your child, so you wait for them to calm down, feed them, water them, then talk to them... In the teen years I'm not finding this as effective, she can sit on that couch for hours if need be.

Instead of grounding her to her room, or the house, or taking away her iPod, I "Mom Ground" the teen. This means they need to spend all their time with me, doing what I'm doing, after their chores and schoolwork is finished.  It's not easy, as you the parent have to also spend all this extra time with your teen. On the other hand hey you get to spend a lot of time with your teenager.  

What I have discovered while implementing this discipline:
The teen eventually stops being mad about it...
get their work done faster because you are on hand to help.
actually don't complain when you decide to watch a Nova or a Nature because hey the T.V. is ON whoo hoo! 
help you do your work kind of like how a cat helps, but hey they are helping.
and while you are both sitting doing the mundane tasks of housework about 3 hours in... they start to talk.

They talk about their friends and their struggles, they ask your advice, they ask embarrassing (to them) questions, they find out funny things about you and laugh. Best of all you both remember how much you love one another.

Communication Key to Your...

My Knight in Shining Armor and I were required to read "Communication Key to Your Marriage" as part of our pre-marrital counseling.  At this point in my life I could not tell you details of the book  it was a dry read if I recall it correctly.  Yet the main key issue "You need to communicate every day!" still shines though.  Every once in a while I look at hubby and say "Communication Key To Your Marriage."  my eyes glint as I say it.  We always laugh because it's usually when we are not communicating well.  It is a reset button for us. It can stop an argument Ahem I mean a discussion in it's tracks.

As I'm pondering the book Smart Trust I find truly, that communication is the key to relationships. I find it interesting that all the podcasts from Jon Acuff I'm randomly picking all boil down to communication. I'm wondering what God is trying to tell me.  

One of Karyn Purvis's key elements in parenting children from hard places is called giving voice.
Dave Ramsey's says a symptom that leads to divorce is not feeling heard.
Stephen Covey talks about listening with your gut.
Dr. Siegel spends a chapter on attachment styles, and you can see the clear thread that runs through them all - communication leads to the best relationships.

I find it interesting that in our training they pointed out neglect does far more damage to a child's development and future as a functioning adult than abuse. Abuse at the very least sends a message of "You have value."  Where as adoptive parents tend to think a neglected child who did not suffer pain of the body will have fewer issues. Yet the message a neglected child feels is "You are of no value."   Neither abuse or neglect should be praised in anyway they are both terrible things that take the right mix of love parenting and occasionally therapy to overcome. 

To me a lack of communication in a relationship is a form of neglect and it will always cause issues.

I Hate The Internet

Sweet Potato stood there proclaiming "I hate the internet."
Putting on my concerned mom hat I replied "ok sweetie when the man repairs it I won't make you have it again." What sweet words she hates the internet she can stop being a texting zombie!!! whoo hoo (joking). Minor flare of temper later she explained she hates that the internet is down and "My life is OVER! I'm dying" Amazing she is still able to speak through the death nell, maybe she is a zombie. 

I said all joking aside this is an opportunity to draw that poster you wanted to make, read a book, play with someone... I sat and watched more teen drama. I suggested she write a note to her friend (the original texting... a letter) I got more teen drama about not being able to open mailboxes.

So I apologized for being a terrible mom,  ;-) I mean really I must stink at this parenting thing if her life is over because she can't text. I have allowed her to become an "entertain me" child.  She is unable to entertain herself without an electronic device in her hands.  Her reaction was priceless.

Of course if she stepped 10 yards outside she can text from our neighbors wifi that he is generously sharing with us during this media crisis. Should I remind her... or shouldn't I... oh well when I get permission to post this blog the cat will be out of the bag...

Who Are You and What Have You done With Sweet Potato???

As I dragged my coughing, sleepy self from my bed, and made a smoothie for breakfast, my pajama clad child came down and announced she had only TWO! wait I mean three! subjects left in school.  She had gotten up at precisely 6:11am and went into the school room and did her school.  Whoo hoo...

She rattled off how easy science was and that school is easy today. Picture me rubbing sleep from my eyes and pinching myself to see if I was still sleeping... Is this the child that I forgot to give schoolwork too on Martin Luther King day thus making the transition back to school icky....  Tuesday was horribly long and lasted till 10:30pm!  Well not to look a gift school day in the mouth, I finished off my breakfast and trotted upstairs to check out her progress. Yes it was all getting worked on and the books she had finished with were on the book shelf!  They were not piled on the floor desk and chair like usual.  *happy dance*  I need to give her a big reward, a really big reward for this. Maybe I'll take her to Sonic for lunch...

I did have to hand her back a few quickly done bits and pieces but this... this is progress.

We did talk about a lot of things yesterday,
What are my goals for you, and What are your goals for yourself?
What do you want to do with your life (this changes daily)?
What tools do you need to be able to choose your career?
and I can see that some of it stuck,  for today at least.

I really want her to realize I'm on her side. I want her school done early enough that she has free time.  Lets face it if she is free, I am free as well! School traps me as much, if not more than it does her.  It reminds me of the car example in the Speed of Trust where the son gets a speeding ticket and the parents are in mourning because they had to ground their extra driver.  Now Mom and Dad are stuck having to play chauffeur again when previously the older child could be the chauffeur.

I'm glad to see her have a good day with good patterns, here is hoping it will stick!

Creativity

I had a talk with Sweet Potato about creativity today. She had turned in a hurried essay on the Holocaust. You could tell it was done in a rush and was done for "doings sake" not for achieving merit in school.  I'm really struggling on how to foster creativity in this "entertain me" child.

I asked her what did creativity mean to her? At first all she would say was "I don't know." I pointed out there was no right or wrong answer to the question. I just wanted to know what did she think when I said creativity. After a few moments she said all in a rush "Drawing and stuff like that, and I'm not a good drawer."  The answer was exactly what I suspected it would be. How often do we get caught up in the thought that creativity is only regulated to the muses, the arts, and never to applied to work or relationships?

To me creativity is in all walks of life. The cook who makes substitutes to the recipe and it tastes better, the manager who figures out who is best suited to each task and has a smooth running department. The janitor who figures out an efficient way to clean the floors and happily hums as he works. The child who piles all of the pillows under the blankets and declares a dinosaur is sleeping.

We delved deep into this idea that creativity is not just art but for example; her pursuit of Star Wars videos via apps on her iPod is creative. I think she got it because she said "Wait creative writing I have a book called creative writing, so writing is creative too! You know Mom it was that other school - my teacher that told me to only be creative in drawing."  I'm sure this statement taken in context would totally make sense :-) but I'm not sure I like her interpretation of it at this time.

Fostering creativity in this child has always been a struggle for me. When I try to teach her the skills needed to excel at a task where she can be creative, she just wants to learn the rote way. When given tasks that need problem solving she sits and waits for it to be solved for her.  Sadly she did learn "If I wait long enough someone will come and fix it." mentality in special education. *sigh*

My current prayer is to foster creativity and problem solving in her, how I do not know. I'll keep casting my net out and trying new ways till the spaghetti sticks to the wall. :-)

Homeschool 2015 January

I'm so happy I have allowed other kids to come be schooled in our schoolroom. The benefits far outweigh the inconvenience.   I'm happy because I love to fill my life with people. I know it doesn't look like that from afar but its true. I get warmfuzzies from serving others. Sweet Potato is still not pushing as many of mom's buttons because well other people are there and she doesn't do that when other people are around. I rather like it, it's nice to not be on watch all the time. I'm sure it is good for us all. It falls into the getting it right the first time category.  I love that bit, laying down neruo-pathways of doing it right.

I am getting pushback from Sweet Potato but it's not really bad at all, kinda normal and I'm glad she is defending herself and her actions. That shows a spark we need to see in her. Now if we could just direct it to positive school energy... well may be not, but I can hope right? 

Little Miss Sunshine is doing well and plugging along with school. I belive she likes having a companion to do school with. Her best friend has also come to share our schooling space but I'm grateful they are not in the same program. I'm not sure any work would get done if they had shared books. Sadly right after "best friend" joined us she had to run of too another state for a family emergency. Happily she is homeschooled so her work could be packed up in a carry on and traveled with her. I do love the portability of HOD. Many support trips we have just taken school along with us. 

The dynamic of the small one room school house feel makes my heart happy. I can cover one topic they all are learning about and then I can work one on one with my kids where they need help. It is taking longer and I do need to supervise the chit chat but I'm happy they are such diligent kids they stick to their work. Sometimes all it takes is a *ahem* from me to have them realize chatting is for Lunch time. 

I have found I need to order my days more carefully and this week I required of myself a meal plan for the week.  I love to cook and just make what my fancy strikes me of our "regularly" scheduled meals but I know my days will be happier if I have a plan and stick to it. I'm trying to feed my Knight in Shining Armor a more Mediterranean diet.  Altho Monday I made his favorite P. F. Changs copycat lettuce wraps without the sugar they were so yummy! 

I'm debating whether to make lamb stew or moroccan soup... I have turnips to cook :-) I think it will be the soup, in actuality there is little difference between them, just a matter of spices and my menu says soup... using up lamb looks to be the order of the day. 

Texting Rules When your Mom is a Gamer.

A few weeks ago when I had some free time I managed to get in a group of online friends and raided a dungeon. I really love the interactivity of this part of the game and I love playing with people I know, but I don't do it very often because it means I am not Present enough for my children.  I wasn't feeling great (Aunti Flo was visiting) so I holed up in my bedroom with my nice toasty warm computer and logged on to play and forget my troubles.

My daughter decided it would be a perfect time to text me non stop because well I must be lonely and not very busy since "You are only resting Mom!." After a bit I had to stop playing as I couldn't juggle texting and killing mythical beasts at the same time. Instead I put my tongue in my cheek and wrote these rules while replying to her nonstop texts.

feel free to laugh...

1. If your mom is in the next room go in and talk to her. Really! you are outside my door and you are texting me?

2. If you got your phone, iPod, or texting device taken away don't use your friends device to text mom while she is killing things... unless its an emergency wait then you should call me!

3. Make sure the right person is receiving your texts, if you become to annoying Dad will take the dinging phone that he can hear upstairs away from Mom because it is distracting him...

4. Make sure the back door is securely closed so the dogs don't get out, or mom will have to AFK while her 4 friends wait as she answers the door, and has to holler for anyone NOT wearing a bathrobe to go chase the dogs back in the house. 

5. If she says "I'm killing the boss", or "I'm in a dungeon" realize she is playing with real people... yes you are real person too, but texting one word at a time so Mom is distracted is not funny for the 4 other people counting on her to heal and fight beside them.

6. Stop being weird... texting your mom phrases you want to try out to see how she will react read how angry she will get, while her mind is engaged in killing a boss will most likely lead to you loosing your texting device for even longer periods of time.

7. Texting your mom "is it ok to breath......."  which you have never asked permission to do before because you know it is vital for life. Realize I know your texting just because its fun to text. It is ok until you find out mom is killing a boss. Then please stop texting as is very distracting and can get your mom killed in game.... Mom getting the loot is a happy mom. Mom dying in a dungeon is not a happy mom. It won't break my heart but it does effect my xp! 

As for real life texting rules...

8. Don't text me when you know I'm driving, I want to live to see you graduated high school.

9. If I don't reply right away it doesn't mean I don't love you. It could be one of these reasons:
I'm working.
I didn't hear my phone because Dad turned it on vibrate. because you were texting me so much it was bugging him.
I left my phone in the car again and can't find it.
I'm taking a nap.
Its in my coat pocket on the other side of the room and I'm actually talking to a real person and didn't hear it. 

10. Don't assume I'm mad.

11. Texting is a tool not a toy.

12. Texting is not a replacement for a real conversation or relationship.

13. Saying I LOVE YOU in person has far more meaning than "I heart U"

He is Home

So my dear hubby left me again and when he goes he likes to keep it off social media. I totally understand his request, its like posting; Hey I'm at a restaurant 150 miles from home go rob it :-).  I think there are even a few spoof sites called robmenow and so forth.

It was a good time Hubby was happy to be in India and I was happy to let him go.  We ate lots of carb based meals and food we usually don't keep in this diabetic friendly house.  This was one of the best Daddy's not home times.

I kept trying to practice Stephen Covey Jr's Smart Trust on the kids.  Allas Sweet Potato is not yet ready for her iPod all night long long. I'm so amazed at her persistence and ability, to get at Star War Videos on You Tube. Of course this behavior only shows me the depth of her will. She really does have what it takes to push through when it matters to her. Now the first time she "stayed up all night" watching videos it was not a school day afterward. She felt horrible and I let her sleep most of the day.  The second time it was a school day, and well she had to do school and chores and she slogged though the day.  I didn't even bat an eye hey darling look you feel icky and you can barely think all because you lived out a fantasy.

I had the fantasy as a child, I thought my parents stayed up because... well because no one was there to tell them to go to bed. They ruled their life they could stay up ALL night! as I got older and experienced the needs of adulthood I soon discovered bed time is a privilege reserved for the young and responsible-less.  I'm glad she choose to watch videos till 4am and have a horrible day... I'm glad she choose to do it second time. What better place for her to experience the ahem *joys* of sleep deprivation headaches, feeling sick and unable to eat well, and dozing off as soon as you sit down, than in her own home.  I'm not sure she has figured out this is not a good idea, but I do see glimmers of hope.

I think she is becoming aware of all that is required of an adulthood that is responsible, and productive full of good character qualities.
Consider: as parents can we do any better than helping our children to be productive members of society in what ever skills God has bequeathed them?

Ahh A Few Good Days

Last week Little Miss Sunshine and I went to the Sewing Expo in Fort Worth, What fun that was, it was her first conference and she really enjoyed it. Even tho their was only one other child there, she is comfortable enough in her own skin to talk to anyone. In fact She talked to a wedding dress seamstress for a good 40 minutes, while I got to peruse the books in silence. Tho I do believe the phrase "They are a fun bunch of old ladies" was on her lips a few times...  

In the family tradition of "weaving" she now owns her first peg loom.  She really loved making simple bracelets on the loom set up at the show. I'm going to steal it borrow it and make a few lanyards. Finally a place to use up all the extra friendship bracelet thread.  

We took classes in what she was interested in, so here was this quilter sitting in on How to sew Luxury Fabrics,  and Sparkle Twinkle and Shine... tho how to use doughnuts to make shawls and really cool ruffles was well worth watching... and No I'm not telling you how delicious breakfast treats make shawls... well at least not till Christmas.  

It was a fantastic time, we planned it this way to make sure each of the kidlets got enough alone time with Mom. I really find PLANNED alone time is so important to our relationships with our children.  I could see when we took off for St. Louis and left the child who would be bored and rolling her eyes at all the attention the other one was getting behind with friends. I knew she would have a good time but also within hours I was seeing symptoms of trauma surface.  Thank goodness we have a friend who does massages and could step in an relieve those symptoms.  

Having just one on one time really allow's us to connect in many ways with our children. She will never forget eating hot wings at midnight, or looking at all the quilts.  Consider we out grow the T-shirt, or toss the souvenir's,  but memories are forever with us. They make up the fabric of who we are.  Yes the pun is intended; that was for you Ann.  

So many issues I face as a parent I can actually see transformed by the correct application of togetherness. Sweet Potato being left behind because at a Sewing Expo she would be the child who would be bored and rolling her eyes at all the attention the other one was getting... was happy to stay and play on campus. This time I did not shoot myself in the foot and give her pure vacation days... Noooooo I gave her all the hard bits of school... *grinning* so these last few days have been fabulous. Her work load is not overly difficult nor is it going extra long.  She also realized I'm a good parent for her, seeing how other households work can sometimes shoot us in the foot because now she wants me to brush her hair like so and so's mom does.  can give us an appreciation for the freedoms and responsibilities we have in our own households. 

We also have started co-opting with another family and I think having that presence in and out of the house has added "everyone is on their best behavior" to the equation.  I'm looking forward to sharing the load with the other mom, and I'm finding it a joy to have another child added into the mix, who has fresh perspectives and handwriting I can read without wondering if it's an E or an I.   Tho whats with all the kids wrapping their thumbs when they write. I think I'll be breaking out the golf pencils for everyone soon... 

Sweet Potato's Very Bad Day.

We had family time this weekend and we ate Lebanese food, watched Cultural dances and experienced an "Eastern" form of Christian worship. Not bad for a weekend.  Last week I was just having a rough week and my heart wasn't in my job as teacher. Processing medical stuff, and Life (with a capital L) was too hard. So I let my children off from school for 2 whole days... Why do I do this to myself? It's like setting myself up for failure...

Last night I didn't set up the workboxes, I was tired! So I set my alarm for early this morning and with the help of a thunder storm I dragged my anemic body out of bed. While I'm prepping school Sweet Potato comes in and informs me I'm wrong... You see I bought her leopard print "duct" tape as a treat this weekend, but its actually "wall" tape the fact that it's really a long vinyl sticker which I think would be easier to use, uh darling you can cut it with scissors and it doesn't stick to them... was irrelevant... it wasn't "duct" tape and I was wrong to buy it for her.  Cause I'm always wrong... right... I'm mom... I also secretly know where everyone shoes are too right??? 

Not the way I wanted to start my day, since she was !devastated! that it wasn't duct tape, (oh the horror)  I gave her 2 options:
1. I could put it on the craft shelf and anyone can use it, since she didn't like it.
OR
2. She could try again, but this time say something like "Mom I don't know how to use this tape, can you help me?"

Funny she opted for option 2.
Happily I only had to prod her to eat breakfast. She was 15 minutes late to school... alas this was a foretaste of what was to come.  As I worked through her note book I noticed missing work. As I checked her narrations I discovered a need for more guidance.  As I set up her favorite subject I noticed a distinct lack of answered questions. *sigh*  they were all character issues she struggles with, At her age I would have left them blank as well.

So after reviewing all the incomplete work that needed to be completed in the homework box... she was now a good 45 minutes behind. Yet I still had hope, dictation went quick, then we had a disciplinary issue. *sigh* Time in's take so long!  Moving on to grammar she bombed the oral drill.  I was forced to add review and literature to the homework pile.  That did not bode well for her attitude.  Upon reaching Algebra (with a capital A) and having to find the Least Common Multiple using Prime Optimization, she fell back on to the dumb game and could not tell me what a prime number is, or how to do it... I had a suspicion she was a bit lost as to the "why" tho she had the "how to" down last week.  I was planning on stopping here till she can do it without help.  Following a LSG style I'm having her ask herself a series of questions to prompt herself though the work.  She can now do long division this way so why not LCM? and Prime Factorization??

I called her on  the dumb game and basically she was mad the homework pile is growing (so lets take extra long with math and see if mom gets mad! woohoo!)  This behavior mystifies me
I have lots of work .... ergo
I will not do my work ....ergo
I have more work to do.

This was repeated 3 more times, each time I called her on her behavior, each time she knew the answer but gave the wrong one to see how I would respond. Child give your poor long suffering Mom a break already!  Can you see me banging my head against the wall? She received lunch courtesy of my loving husband, as well as a trip to the principals office for a chat.

Many hugs later I sent her up to do her independent work, and I focused on Little Miss Sunshines teacher led work. One discussion about trusting God, a read aloud on Mozart's family, flash cards and grammar and boom we we're done. I hid in my bed room for 20 more minutes, really it's the teachers lounge.

So I hear lots of foot steps up stairs and I think I better go check. I want to trust but should I? It's not been a good day so far.  I walk up the stairs and get a glimpse of her getting herself back in her seat.  I discover she has yet to complete one of her assignments.  At least she was honest and admitted she was talking out loud to herself about her future.  *sigh*  So were back to trust but verify... setting my timer for every 25 minutes, and walking up the stairs to check on her,  managed to keep her on track. My Knight in Shining Armor helped her with Newtons principal while I made dinner. Her friend with bright eyes visited at 6:30 in hopes she would be done, but alas she was not.  It's 9pm she's actually done and tucked in her bed.

Here's to a better tomorrow. :-) I can still hope right?

And yes I have Sweet Potato's permission to blog about her day. :-) she likes fame and fortune.

Medical Update

For a year now Sweet Potato's Lung specialist has wanted me to take her to see his mentor in St. Louis.  But he didn't want her traveling north in the flu season and well we were swamped last summer.  So I thought this summer we might travel to get a second opinion... he offered 3 other places one of which was children's in Boston. Well my sister lives in Boston and just as I was starting to put the bits and pieces in place, a news story broke about Children's in Boston.  The story is about how Children's tried to terminate the "out of state" parental rights. A bit of digging showed me this seemed to be a habit of theirs and My trip to see my sister and see a specialist was off.  Instead we started to plan a trip to St. Louis to see the guy our current doctor really wanted us to see.  So we made an appointment which was months away because he's a specialist. :-)

But we hit a road block,  due to rising costs of private health insurance our ministry no longer offers it as a benefit.  Shifting over to the ACA was fraught with glitches. We easily spent 80 hours on the phone or website just trying to get past a yellow box. Talked to numerous rude and unhelpful supervisors and experienced just about every dialect in american english.  We made at least 4 different accounts trying to work around the glitches...  We deleted and started again as many as 35 applications.  If not for the help of the company our ministry made available to us, to advocate and walk us through it, I'm not sure we would be insured right now.  It was only after the wonderful young man that was helping us, insisted on our right to file and appeal did we actually get someone at the ACA to help us.  The woman at the Appeals office confide in me that she has over 400 appeal calls to do a week.  That is crazy as she easily spent 3 hours on the phone with me as - yes you guessed it we created a new application and  re-applied.  5 hours after we got a helpful supervisor I was informed by her that she managed to get "around" the glitch and we could sign up... But I had to send 4 document to be verified.

We had been without insurance for over a month.

While we were dealing with this I had to keep pushing back and rescheduling Sweet Potato's appointment.  I'll leave out the Yes she covered no she not, yes she is, no she's not, back in forth we had with the doctors office and my insurance company.  I'm *still* not sure what bills we will see even though I did do everything the Dr. Office wanted. I have to applaud the billing department at Dr Ferkol's Office they were amazing and sweet. They just want to make sure she could be seen and we could afford it.  

So after much paperwork, phone calls, dates moved we finally took the trip to St. Louis to see Dr Ferkol. Who was amazing, kind, informative, and a good educator.  After talking with Sweet Potato and us, looking at all the tests they did in house he concluded Dr Lie's suspected diagnosis as being the correct one. Well he gave us a 99.9% chance Sweet Potato has Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia (PCD).   http://www.pcdfoundation.org  You can check it out at the website. It's a pretty rare genetic disorder.  So we have let him enter her in his study, as Dr Ferkol is trying to find a less invasive way to diagnoise this disease and of course to study it.

We as a family are processing all the information he gave us and reading up on it at various websites. The good news is she is probably over medicated so she may be able to come off of some of them. The bad news is this is going to be a life long battle for her.

Well being on low flow internet via a hot spot is interesting. These 2 months of non connectivity have been fun but I'm so ready to get back into the twenty first century.  AT&T where are you.....

We started school 2 weeks ago full tilt ahead instead of half speed, mainly because Sweet Potato fights the start of school so much and then fights the going to full speed. I figured why not just have one battle this year? Were starting High School with her and boy oh boy Looks like I'll be getting another high school edu-mucation.  I didn't care for algebra the first time around... even tho I do use it quiet often in everyday life. Funny that! Ha! 

So I promised you photos of my school/ craft room I have been doing work boxes this year, It helps both kids see what needs to be finished, but they are totally slacking (they draw pictures in pencil even to the colored pencils are right in the bin!). Good thing is now that I'm checking work every evening when I set up the next school day. I'm much more diligent in getting them to re-do it properly now. I'm also able to review the work ahead of time and I can see where Sweet Potato is going to run into problems doing it alone. I'm trying to accommodate her special needs, Pray for me :-) I want to give her just enough assistance that she can do it on her own, but not do it for her. I'm still trying to find that balance. 

Little Miss Sunshine Loves the school room!
All the High School Books and 7th grade books
are all in the bookshelf in back. 

Not fully decorated yet but I have gotten the map up
I plan to run the high school time line on the walls. 

Crafting space, but lately the computer for Science and Spanish has lived here. 

I went nuts organizing our typical supplies.
the entire closet looks like this. 

So I spent a few pennies at Ikea I love the plastic tote/boxes I do have to double up a few things but they typically all go together and I'm finding the note books "mainly fit" its not a perfect fit but it is working. I like how both kids can look out the window. That is always good for eye exercise :-) I know they are glancing outside to see if their friends are done yet. Yet looking up every once in a while is good to stop eye strain.  

Behind the door is a long paper pouch with all kinds of paper.
I found it at the container store it's perfect.  

So now I have to go do Literature with the the high schooler so I'll sign off now. 

I'm Just a Country Girl

So we have moved, and were all settled in. I'm exploring the local environs and getting lost on the roads and finding my way again. It feels like our life has been on hold for months and we can now proceed with life again. I love the vistas here the sunsets you can actually see and the stars!! oh my how I missed the stars. Little Miss Sunshine and I have been taking night walks with our star chart. We are hoping for a really dark night so we can see the Milky Way.

My house is very pretty and I'm contemplating buying turf for the back yard that becomes a mud pit every time it rains... Oh yeah it rained in July In Texas! It was a delightful week of NOT 100 degree weather which I much appreciated. After a few weeks of no wifi (but what was on our phone,) we broke down and bought a hot spot. So I'm blogging on limited data, can't wait till the whole campus is done and we can sign up for connectivity again.

Meanwhile I'm doling the data out to the family in drips an drabs.

Its been a hard transition as the office hasn't moved yet so my Knight in Shining Armor is doing what he did in NY which is drive over an hour each way.  He said to me yesterday... I've realized I'm not twenty anymore. Ha ha ha!  So true.

I have been given the task of trimming the suckers off the trees and pruning.  I never realized just how many trees we planted.  Oh my!  It's like laundry in that it is a never ending job, but unlike laundry the surprises you find are way cooler.  Yesterday I found a birds nest with 4 birds in it. Glad of my hat... I pruned the suckers and skeedaddled so mama bird could come back and take care of her babies.   I also find huge spiders... ok not as big as Frodo faced but the size of a small egg is NOT uncommon. It's weird you have to be at just the right angle to see the webs. Then you notice this huge spider on the web, you shake the tree and it runs like lighting up it's ladder and hides under a leaf and you can hardly see it anymore.   Once again I'm thankful for my hat... I found a few spiders on me afterwards.  I'm getting used to them. Then again (as long as they are not crawling on me) I don't bother spiders and think of them as being beneficial insects.  Heres a good shot from http://www.spiderzrule.com This is what they look like.

I don't think they mind me since I'm always kicking up grass hoppers, and well these guys are so fast. A hopper gets on their web and they wrap them up in about 10 seconds flat. It's pretty cool to watch.  Since we have hundreds of grasshopper out on the "back 40" everyone these guys eats is one less that is eating the trees. I've also become Not a Fan of sap suckers... they are relentless, they seem to love one variety of oak we planted, poor trees.  

Well I have settled back into finishing up the last fews weeks of school from last year I had no idea we took off that much time. Ugh! I've been trying the workbox method for my eldest and she seems to love it. It helps her to see how much work she has to do, and once the boxes are done she is done.  Her best friend moving in 2 blocks away has also been a strong motivation for her to finish her school  on time. Now if I was just better at getting her to complete her chores.  This is a bigger house and mama needs help keeping it tidy!   

Ok next blog I'll show you my Ikea School room / crafting space. The kids love having a dedicated space for school and So do I! Also the work boxes help keep it neat! 

The Joy Thief

So today is the day I get to play in the cafe, my child had finished her school and was playing with some of her friends, who often work in another department. My child loves to go work with them.  It is a thing of beauty. She loves to work, yes there is more chatter and more frolic but Little Miss Sunshine works with me all the time and she is a hard worker, even when her mouth is running. 

A few weeks ago I was too sick to work in the Cafe but she my 11 year old offered to go work in my stead. My friend thought she would be helpful doing the unskilled labor in the cafe, but soon discovered my DD is a budding cook. Well able to wield a knife, knows the difference between a dice a chop and a slice. My friend K mentioned to me the next week how astonished she was at my kiddos knowledge base of cooking and cleaning.

But today Little Miss Sunshine begged to go work with her friends, and since yesterday there was a work party, a call for all available hands for stuffing envelopes, I agreed she could leave my demise and go help with what I thought was a huge unfinished project.  Well when I opened my email tonight I discovered my assumption was incorrect. Apparently my kid participated in being annoying and was socializing to much and there was not enough work to go around.  I'm sure she was Miss. social... *sigh*

I look at this email and my heart breaks. I have been reading Smart Trust a trust based leadership book. I realized this email is a Joy Thief.  The Smart Trust book talks at length about how team work and trust breeds prosperity, energy and JOY. Stephen M.R. Covey does a great job explaining how a lack of trust in our culture is breaking down society.  I'm feeling it now. :-P nothing like a spanking email to get my attention.  

How can I sit my child down and say "Oh by the way you can't work with your friends anymore." because I felt schooled in an email.  I don't want to steal her JOY of work, her JOY of social community,  her JOY in serving others.  I have so much going on I'm really not in a place to know if my child will be available halfway through the morning because she had a great school day and is done. So here I am thinking of 2 helping hands that do not desire to sit idle,  but just now finding out spontaneity is not feasible to the work they have on hand, It must be scheduled. Dun dun dunn..  I totally understand, I get it, I sympathize! Never would I want to create more work in our already over worked environment.  But seriously folks from my window in the cafe I can see piles of weeding those idle hands could be doing with JOY...

I often get inundated with youngsters during Friday night prayer set up, I pick 3 or 4 and send the rest back to the meeting. If they finish their work early I send them back to the meeting, or let them get their hands on the good stuff first... For the scripture saith , Thou shalt not muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn . And, The labourer is worthy of his reward. 1 Timothy 5:18 KJV  If they get  rowdy or out of hand guess what!  oh yes I send them back to prayer meeting.  I'm not all that popular with the children, one of them said sometimes I make her nervous... Sigh  I guess I need to work on my delivery... But if I don't need you I'm going to be honest and tell you. 

So here I blog discouraged my joy in abayance because...

I think I have figured it out it was the delivery... (my biggest failing)  instead of a call or a word in my ear,  I got policy, rules and regs. Smart Trust points out that falling back on rules and regs tells others you don't trust them to do the right thing, and my friends that is why my joy is feeling stolen.  But I will rest in the immortal words of my father "Feelings lie." so I don't always trust them. :-)

Up To My Ears In Paperwork

Oh my I'm just up to my ears in paperwork, moving always motivates me to shred all this paper we have... Yet So much of it is actually irreplaceable. You know things like certificates you know how important those are... I bet your thinking star student certificates.. no I'm talking about certificates of adoption, citizenship etc.

When I first adopted I would lament Oh its so much paper work why can't they make it easier. Yet with every change and new adoption the paper work gets bigger. It reminds me of windows... its not a bug it's a feature, and really you do need all that code to make it work.

This time the new event is TB testing all the kids in this family. OH MY!!!
Sweet Potato never used to be afraid of needles but ever since her sister came home and was afraid of needles she picked it up for fun. Good Times... One day she heard me on the phone discussing the possibility of a pin prick and freaked out for the rest of the day. I had to put on my counselor hat and talk her down off the wall.

So I took her to the pediatrician to get her test placed. They don't have any... nor can I buy a vial and let hem keep it. They send me to the health department. I think well lets call the free clinic first and ASK before I drive for 25 minutes... 10 minutes on hold I get a very nice a man, Do they do TB tests Yes! canI get them for my kids... NO!!!  (You have insurance!) Great.... But my doctor sent me to you to get tests placed. I need them for a foster care adoption... he puts me on hold... when he comes back he has his supervisor who said YES! since you are doing this to become adoptive parents we can place the tests for you... But You will have to call back next week as we are out of TB stuff. So Ultimately it's a NO.... later as I'm driving past my family doctor (Do you know about family doctors they are so cool, I could in theory take all of us to him since he's not a GP he's a Family Doctor). So I park and walk in talk to someone, I get Nikki... I love this lady! I explain my dilemma and she solves it... the computers were down so I had to call back to get appointments but they can place the tests.

They placed the tests altho one of my children needed 4 people to help her hold still. I brought the ice to numb the area, told her to cough when they place the test, asked her to look away so she wouldn't be so frightened. Nope... screaming was heard by all... funny thing is the nurse couldn't place it while she was freaking. She finally looked away, and stopped screaming, then the nurse placed the test. She's now finished, when she looked back she asked, when they are you going to do it? She was told she was done!  and yup you guessed it, she started screaming again...  Luckily she was already in my arms and I was prepared Thanks Karyn Purvis... I had her favorite sweet thing to drink and cookies...

Does holding her tight during the procedure qualify as structure, and feeding her after she had an massive dose of adrenals qualify as nurture??? I wonder...

Everything else went off without a hitch, the non screamer got her soda at home. ;-)

Test reading day rolls around and as per my kids doctors instructions I show up sans appointment for him to read the TB tests, he's not there... can you believe it... He's NOT THERE... Now I have nurses playing CYA... So Back to Nikki I go! She saves the day again and pops me in the system, lets the nurse read the tests and I now am holding in my hot little hands TB test results. Whoo hoo now on to step 2 putting the house on the market, which involves...  yup you guessed it MORE Paperwork..

On Mothers Day... I would rather go camping.

Mothers Day also corresponds to the same day I got to meet Sweet Potato. A huge thrill for me, :-)  it was Monday in India and Mothers day in the states. How exciting!!!

A dozen years later I still find my self wishing I were camping on Mothers Day.  In TX the weather is fantasic and not too many bugs.  The kids are happy and lots of freedom to explore and plenty of down time and quiet time and campy distractions to keep their minds occupied.

Holidays are just not really that fun in our house. I always wanted to be the Mom that decorated for each holiday, Shamrocks in March,  Hearts in Feburary etc.. I soon learned to greet holidays with trepidation. Holidays bring about thoughts of family and fun. At the same time they bring about thoughts of loss and grief.  My minds often boggles at the brains ability to handle duelisms.  I wonder how much at war are my children's minds on holidays? Experiencing happiness and joy to suddenly be ambushed by guilt and grief a few minutes later. How do they do it, and I often wonder what should my expectations be on their abilities to handle it.

This Moms day I planned a day of fun because gotcha day is often celebrated too. The mall for Sweet Potato and a game night (for the rest of us.) I had hoped the fun of the day would help keep her mood sweet. Yet through out the day her behavior was... shall we say... not so hot. My hubby even noticed! Even tho I was doing the high nurture, high structure, making compromises, saying yes, she was just not co-operating.  Looking back I realized we made a few mistakes today.  We ALL should NOT have gone to the mall. It should have been her alone with just one parent. Letting her revel in shopping is fine, but the whole family ended up getting annoyed with the time it takes for her to buy one shirt. I swear she tried on half the store. I think we gave her to big of an audience and to much choice.

Daddy should not have agreed to her napping while all the chores and party prep were being done.  When we don't give her work to do we are in-part saying "Hey you're a guest not a family member." The sly puss when given a pretty easy chore of putting away a few bags of party groceries just before the guest were due to arrive, actually disagreed with me for 10 minutes about where to put away the heavy whipping cream... Did you know all dairy products belong in the cupboard!!! Ya I'm not buying what your selling.   I kept asking her to: "Try it again cupcake." "Can you say that in a respectful tone of voice?"  Eventually I just resorted to asking her to say "Mom ya caught me being smarmy."  *sigh*  Then the carton finally got put in the fridge. with that quirky grin of hers. 

A late bed time became even later when she informed me of some things she was missing. So off to the pharmacy we went... When we got home she had a sensory melt down.  After we resolved the sensory thing. She got ready for bed. I came in to check on her and found her now gleefully using the things she just had a melt down over, looking up at me with a now guilt ridden look on her face while her mouth was insisting it was still a big bad awful sensory experience.  I just praised her "Woo hoo look at you overcome that fear! Thank you for trying, your doing a great job."
(She got so mad at me. I totally know why too :-P  afterwards when I was sharing the scenario with hubby I had to run the water so she didn't hear my peals of giggling.)

The original sensory issue could have totally been real, and now a few minutes later when her Fontal Lobe was no longer hijacked by her Amygdala, she could handle it. So I cuddled her, and after a few words I asked a simple question. "So if you played with that when I wasn't here does that mean you win and I lose?"
She said "Yes..."
"So catching you at it does that mean I get a point?"
She said "Yes." (I was this child... figuring this one out was so easy.... I just thought what would my teen brain be doing).
I held her tight and said "Oh honi if you over come this issue it's a win for you, and to set the record straight I can't win or loose in this game your playing because we'll honi I'm not."
She was confused "Not what?"
"I'm not playing your game." I replied as I kissed her and sent her off to brush her pearly whites.

But I realized the first thing I did totally wrong was:  I should have insisted on Breakfast IN Bed.

School update and an Official Announcement.

So I started the year with high hopes but needless to say my children are not co-operating. It looks like we will be schooling though the summer holidays this year. Its been a year full of "STUFF."

Our organization will soon be shifting and relocating a few miles east. We have been scrambling to prep the house to sell. I feel like I'm on that Love it or List it show. I now love my floors and altho I'm not fond of the new paint color "Tea and Honey"(aka beige) It does actually look great with the tile.

We also started the process to adopt again, after watching our friends successfully adopt via the new beginnings program at Gladney we decided why not ask God if that is ok for us. We have felt led to adopt again and are excited to watch God build our family. Needless to say I'm once again up to my ears in paperwork.  Can't wait for this batch to be done and over with.  I'm totally at a loss this time around as to how to write the photo book. How do I express, were open to what God wants for us but really would like to lower the estrogen level in the house by adding some boys. My poor Knight in Shining Armor is surrounded by females! I just need an idea and some time when I'm not totally burnt out with House, School, the Looming Moving, Project, and oh Yeah I have a wedding to co-ordinate for a friend... wait the last bit is so much fun it's a de-stressor in my life.  (It's going to be soooooooo cute.)

Well lately I have shifted Sweet Potato away from HOD for a bit *again* the program is so awesome Little Miss Sunshine is just tooling along but Sweet Potato is not responding as well as she could be to the looming stress. I'm starting every day with an unco-operative child and taking the time to be present has resulted in some changes.

1. We're doing only the basics TX requires.
2. I've shifted her to books that she can read and are also free on Librivox so she can read and listen at the same time.  Seeing a much greater retention in what she has been reading/listening too.  I can hear Jan Bedell's voice (Little Giant Steps), saying Input Input Input.
3. We started a gentle approach to algebra and heaven forbid she likes it! This is on top of Singapore math, I want to be sure with our flip flipping into and out of Math You See, Visual Math from LGS, and back into Singapore that we are not missing anything she should have learned. Since Singapore uses a loose spiral we should be covering anything she missed on the the way up.
4. I'm working on her Handwriting its been getting sloppy again.
    I've added back in art, requiring her to draw images that she is reading about, map making etc.
5. Vocabulary, vocabulary vocabulary!

I'm not completely happy with the amount of school work she is doing. I wish I could get her to complete more subjects in a day, but she is now able to complete the work and is not as discouraged about school. In-fact today I saw her multiply 4 x 14 in her head. At this point I'm happy to see any forward momentum in her schooling, she doesn't do "change" well,  and even if she just stood still and didn't loose ground I'd be satisfied. Considering all the stress we have coming up in the future...   I've also added back in worksheets she likes to do like word searches, (Those things would take me hours to do she takes 10 minutes to do.)  this seems to help her self worth and builds a positive attitude toward school.  Personally I do not like worksheets, I think the The CM method is so much better for building character, critical thinking etc. but if a worksheet a day is looked forward too... well you betcha I'll be sticking one in the middle so she has a bright spot. :-)

I Did a Bad Thing...

Yup I did, my last post was about how busy and active I have been. How I have no time to blog because I feel great! Anyone want to print those words out and put them in a pie for me to eat? Why did I post how good I felt? It was like painting a great big "shoot me now" X on my back.

So heres a cute photo of me and some cookies in Mexico and if you don't want to read about feminine issues you should stop now...  no really if it grosses you out stop now.

Really I'm warning you... I'm going to be keeping it real...


Ah I'm now waiting on the doctor's blood test results to figure out if I'm anemic again. What took 6 months to overcome it takes Aunt Flo weeks to undo. Now I fall asleep if I sit down for a few moments and I can't seem to spell.  I know this too will pass but really can it stop now??? Pretty please... Funny it's happened before you know, once I went to give blood at a blood drive and they freaked out at me. That's when I discovered Aunt Flo was not supposed to visit for 6 weeks. DOH!

My doctor was looking in my records "Oh so hmmmm what did we do last time?" We sent you for tests discovered we can find nothing wrong and oh look we did nothing and it stopped on its own.  Can you see the irony on my face? I'd bang my head against the wall but I'm too tired too.   Ever feel like going to the doctor is a waste of time?  He didn't give me anything to resolve the problem with out tests because its all relative. (Don't get me wrong my Dr. is very sweet he's doing the best he can with the info at hand. It's not his fault my body behaves it self every time he tests it. )

I wonder maybe I should start weighing things, give him real data he can use.  Really how can he diagnose how bad it is with what I have to tell him? Let me think... I say "it's a lot." What is "a lot?" to me it is too graphic to describe here... maybe I should have used the words XXXXXXX XXXXXXX  Himmm... I can't say that on my blog...
One of my children freaked out over "a lot" and I was like ho hum you ain't seen nothing yet honi... Why are they're no guidelines on the packages of products.  It would be better than "have a happy period" sayings printed on the pad wrappers. (What were they thinking????) Think how helpful the manufacture could be if they actually made a chart. If it looks like A it has absorbed x amount. pics for B. C. D. E... Start taking Iron pills now, and F hey time to visit your doc cause your not normal. 

I often wonder if this stuff happened to men what would be going on??? Would they hospitalize them? Tell them its all in their heads? Tell them to tough it out? Maybe men wouldn't be so delicate and squeamish. Yo I'm loosing pounds here how can I buff up if I have no red blood cells?

How does one ask for prayer?  Yes lets call the prayer chain and say Aunt Flo has come to stay and she won't leave...  In one of Michael Palin's trips around the globe he stopped by a nepali village, where the ladies get to go to a special house for their "moon" days.  Hubby gets to keep the kids and fend for himself till she's over them.  Then he has to make her a special meal and feed her before she gets to go home. My Knight in Shining Armor was watching and he looked at me and said good thing we don't live in Nepal, I'd never see you!! I could just set up shop there and be hostess.  The good thing is: I have access to iron supplements. Once my doctor thinks I'm sick enough I can get help.  Once years ago this went on for 8 weeks but I was just in range and "not" anemic that doctor was like "Oh well live with it, the tests say your fine stop freaking out ... Sigh...

But what about ladies in places like India  where rates of anemia are 42%-60% depending on where you live. Eeep! I don't have to worry my hubby is going to eat up all the food and leave me with scraps. No instead he will make dinner, cherish me and care for me everyday. (and bring me chocolate) So even tho today is a icky day I will be grateful to be here in the states, with a man who cares for me, will happily shoulder the burden of the kids, and the house, on top of his work load till I'm better. Of course if you want to help you can pop over and fold laundry... and we like Chinese takeout.  If you do come over bring tissues cause I'll cry all over you because you love me. :-)
I really do love the United States of America, I'm so happy I was born here *sniffle* where are my tissues. Oh my! Hormones!

So Busy

Well the last few months I have been endeavoring to drop a few pounds and my life has been full, full, full.  My energy level has been so much higher this past year and I really feel like my Sarcidosis is completely gone. Not a whisper of a symptom since my second visit to the naturopath.  Now that I'm not tired and fatigued, now that I'm blocking out time to exercise, and taking on new projects I discovered I have less time to blog. Oopsie :-)

So here is an update to our lives, we had a amazing visit with my parents down in Mexico, Spirit airlines got us there on the cheap, and we packed super light. I kept thinking while on vacation "Is this so much fun because  I have only a little stuff to take care of?" Although we did have to bring Sweet Potatoes vest which I think weighed more that both bags put together... The airline let it ride for free because I called and checked, found out they are sticklers and managed to get a doctors letter proving the equipment was medically necessary.  I'll give Dr Lie 2 thumbs up for coming through in a crunch.  He is awesome.

The Sun and Sand and REST we got was so needed. I'm not complaining and I feel so bad for the frozen north, but here in Texas by March we usually have flowers and sunshine... Instead it's been overcast and dreary. Usually at this point of spring I'm asking God to help me appreciate the sunshine and never lose the wonder of sun and flowers in February or March.  Well I think I'm appreciating all those wonderful warm spring days in February we have had in the past decade.  In fact I'm missing them terribly.

School is tooling along I've moved Sweet Potato to a more accommodated version of school and reduced her schedule to focus her and to help her complete school on time. She is happier and I'm flabbergasted at the things she retains. Two nights ago at dinner she started talking about the revolutionary war and lady soldiers who choose to fight like a man. It's good to know it's in there!  I just shifted her reading to listening and reading at the same time. Her retention rate went way up, her writing of details got even better. Her report on the chapter was detailed and she actually had more than 100 words to write out. She reported to me that it was easy... I almost fell off the wii fit in surprise.  Tho today she has the stomach bug that has been going around, she looked miserable yesterday and today she is far to eager to convince me she is STILL REALLY SICK. Can you hear her say it "Really mom I am."  She is far more enthusiastic than she was yesterday about her illness.  I'm letting her stay on the couch and suck on ice chips all day long, but I think I'll make her do some math and reading today before any movies. Ah the perils of homeschooling, you have to be really sick to get out of "home" work.

Ok I have piles more to say, but my time is up and I needs must move on to math with my child... at least it's easy geometry and fractions. I love spacial math.